Parlay: Chicago Bears VS Philadelphia Eagles 2025-11-28

Chicago Bears vs. Philadelphia Eagles: A Black Friday Feast of Football Folly

Ladies and gentlemen, gather ‘round for a holiday spectacle where the Chicago Bears (8-3) trot into Philadelphia to face the defending champion Eagles (8-3) in what might be the most anticipated turkey-day appetizer since the invention of the candied yam. Let’s break this down with the precision of a Thanksgiving guest who finally knows where the gravy boat is.

Parse the Odds: A Mathematically Sound Case for the Eagles
The Eagles are the undisputed favorites here, with decimal odds hovering around 1.28-1.31 (implied probability: 75-78%) across bookmakers like DraftKings and FanDuel. The Bears, meanwhile, are priced at 3.6-3.85 (implied probability: 21-27%), which is about the same chance of your Aunt Karen not bringing the same green bean casserole again.

The spread is a tidy Eagles -7, and the total is set at 44.0-44.5 points. The Eagles’ offense, led by Jalen Hurts (who’s throwing TDs like they’re free samples at a Costco), faces a Bears defense that’s statistically worse than a group of toddlers trying to block a fire hydrant. Per the article, Chicago’s defense ranks 25th in DVOA, allows the 6th-most points per game, and lets opposing QBs average 6.74 yards per carry—which is basically giving running backs a personal shopping cart.

Digest the News: Hurts, Hurts, and More Hurts
The Eagles are coming off a 24-21 loss to the Dallas Cowboys, where they squandered a 21-point lead, were shut out in the second half, and committed 14 penalties for 96 yards. Jalen Hurts, ever the optimist, called it a lesson in “completing games and consistency.” Translation: “We need to stop looking like a team that forgot how to play chess in the final move.”

The Bears, under rookie QB Caleb Williams (the human equivalent of a “press 1 to talk to a human” menu), have gone 8-1 in their last nine games after a 0-2 start. But here’s the kicker: Their defense is so leaky, they’d let a breeze score a goal. They’ve allowed 22 passing TDs (tied for 3rd-most) and face a Hurts-led Eagles offense that’s been handed the “Layup of the Week” award.

Fun fact: The Bears haven’t played a Friday game since 1966, when they lost to the Rams. That’s over half a century of rust on their Friday schedule—like trying to start a 1970s muscle car with a cup of coffee and a prayer.

Humorous Spin: Turkey Day Tomfoolery
Let’s be real: The Bears’ defense is so porous, they’d make a colander look like Fort Knox. They’ve allowed 6.74 yards per carry to opposing QBs—which is less a football game and more a game of “Watch Jalen Hurts go on a 20-yard jaunt while the Bears’ defenders do the Macarena.”

Meanwhile, the Eagles’ offense is like a Black Friday sale: aggressive, relentless, and leaving nothing on the shelves. Hurts is the kind of QB who’d throw a 50-yard TD to a running back just to spite the defense. And don’t sleep on the Eagles’ “statement game” mentality—they’re coming off a humbling loss and will want to prove they’re not the “champions who forgot how to tie their shoes.”

Same-Game Parlay Pick: Eagles to Win & Over 44.5
Why this combo?
1. Eagles to Win (-7): The implied probability is 75%, and their offense is a statistical inevitability against this Bears defense. Hurts should rack up 300+ yards and 2+ TDs, while the Eagles’ run game (featuring a certain “running back who shall not be named” but is actually pretty good) gashes the Bears’ D.
2. Over 44.5: With the Bears’ defense allowing 6.74 yards per carry to QBs and the Eagles’ offense averaging 420+ yards per game, this one could blow the roof off Lincoln Financial Field.

Odds for this parlay: At DraftKings, combining Eagles -7 (-110) and Over 44.5 (-110) gives you a legitimately juicy +260 return on a $100 bet. That’s the kind of payout that makes your Thanksgiving dinner and your mortgage payment.

Prediction: Eagles Roast the Bears Like a Thanksgiving Turkey
The Eagles win 27-20 and cover the -7 spread, while the total lands at 47 points—because nothing says “holiday spirit” like a 47-point game on Black Friday. The Bears’ defense will look like a sieve, and Hurts will throw a TD to DeVonta Smith in the 4th quarter just to mock them.

Final Score Prediction: Eagles 27, Bears 20.

Now go bet like you’re shopping for deals—but smarter. And remember, if you lose, at least you’ll have the story of how you tried to bet like a pro while the Eagles made you look like a genius. 🏈✨

Created: Nov. 28, 2025, 9:32 a.m. GMT