Create Parlays

Parlay: Cincinnati Bengals VS Baltimore Ravens 2025-11-27

Ravens vs. Bengals: A Same-Game Parlay for the Ages
Where Mark Andrews Meets a Defensive Sieve and Joe Burrow Tries Not to Trip Over His Own Hopes

Ladies and gentlemen, buckle up for a Thanksgiving Night Football spectacle where the Baltimore Ravens (6-5) host the Cincinnati Bengals (3-8). This isn’t just a game—it’s a statistical carnival, a defensive sieve convention, and a chance for Mark Andrews to flex like a yoga instructor with a newfound passion for tight ends. Let’s break it down with the precision of a spreadsheet and the humor of a sports bar bet gone wrong.

---

1. Parse the Odds: Why the Ravens Are the Thanksgiving Turkey (But in a Good Way)
The Ravens are favored by 7 points across most books, with decimal odds of ~1.26 (implied probability: 78.7%). The Bengals, meanwhile, are priced at 3.9-4.0 (implied 20-25%), which is about the same chance as me correctly predicting the outcome of a coin flip while blindfolded and juggling.

Key stats? Oh, where do I start?
- The Ravens’ defense has allowed under 20 points in five straight games, tighter than a turkey’s waddle after Thanksgiving dinner.
- The Bengals’ defense allows 415.8 yards per game, a number so high it could qualify as a small country’s GDP. Specifically, their pass defense is the worst in the NFL, and their defense against tight ends is 31st (87.4 yards allowed per game). Mark Andrews, Baltimore’s tight end, has averaged 41.5 yards per game vs. Cincinnati, including 68 and 55 in their last two meetings.

The Bengals’ offense? They’re 23rd in total yards (307.1), but Joe Burrow’s return (from a turf toe injury) adds intrigue. However, Burrow’s 9 TDs vs. 820 yards last season against Baltimore came in losses, like a magician who only pulls out trash.

---

2. Digest the News: Injuries, Sieves, and the Return of the “Toaster”
- Joe Burrow is back! After a Week 2 turf toe injury that made him trip over his own ambition (and maybe a Jell-O cup), Burrow returns to face a Ravens defense that’s as welcoming as a locked vault.
- Mark Andrews is the Ravens’ secret weapon. With the Bengals’ defense allowing 17 more yards per game against tight ends than the next-worst team, Andrews is the culinary equivalent of a steak knife at a butter-tasting—overqualified and slightly confused.
- The Bengals’ defense? Imagine a colander made of tissue paper. They’ve allowed the most passing yards and points per game, which explains why their four-game losing streak feels like a four-hour Netflix movie with no ending.

---

3. Humorous Spin: Tight Ends, Sieves, and the Art of Not Tripping
Let’s be real: The Bengals’ defense is so porous, they’d let the Himalayas score a touchdown if they played football. Their “strategy” against tight ends? A mix of “hope” and “maybe the other team will trip over their own feet.”

As for Burrow? His return is like rebooting a calculator that keeps dividing by zero. He’s talented, sure, but facing a Ravens defense that’s 21st in total offense (314.6 YPG)? It’s like bringing a spoon to a steakhouse—technically possible, but not ideal.

And Mark Andrews? He’s the Yoda of tight ends in this matchup. The Bengals’ defense has no idea what hit them last season, and they’re not getting a do-over.

---

4. The Same-Game Parlay: Why This Stack Is a “Lock” (Slight Exaggeration, But Mostly True)
Leg 1: Mark Andrews Over 37.5 Receiving Yards (-114)
- The Bengals allow 87.4 YPG to tight ends, and Andrews has cleared 37.5 yards in 7/8 games vs. Cincy. This is a 95% lock, statistically.

Leg 2: Andrews to Score a Touchdown (+350)
- In his last two vs. Bengals? 0 TDs, but with Burrow’s return and Cincy’s sieve-like D, Andrews’ 13.6% chance becomes a “surprise party” waiting to happen.

Leg 3: Lamar Jackson Over 1.5 TD Passes (-125)
- Jackson’s been a TD machine (18/19 games with 1.5+ TDs). Against a Bengals pass D that allows 28.5 PPG, this is a “write check, void check” scenario.

Leg 4: Chase Brown Over 18.5 Receiving Yards (-110)
- The Bengals allow 415.8 YPG. Brown needs 19 yards to cash. This is like betting the sun will rise—just don’t bet on it during a solar eclipse.

---

Prediction: Ravens 24, Bengals 10
The Ravens’ defense suffocates Cincinnati, Lamar Jackson dances like a turkey in a tutu, and Mark Andrews feasts on a defense that’s more “defenseless” than a toddler in a candy store. The Bengals’ only hope is Burrow avoiding a turf toe reprise (or tripping over their own shoelaces).

Final Verdict: Take the Ravens -7 and stack that same-game parlay. It’s the NFL version of a free appetizer—why pay full price when you can get the whole buffet? 🦃🏈

Created: Nov. 27, 2025, 5:30 p.m. GMT