Parlay: Colgate Raiders VS Syracuse Orange 2025-09-12

Syracuse vs. Colgate: A Same-Game Parlay for the Ages
Where Football Meets Farce, and the Odds Are as Clear as a Coach’s Jargon

Parse the Odds: A Math Class You’ll Actually Enjoy
Let’s start with the numbers, because even Fran Brown’s “DART” and “CCT” mantras can’t outshine basic arithmetic. The spread is all over the place, ranging from Syracuse -36.5 to -38.5, with most books settling around -37.5. The total is locked at 64.5 points, with even money on Over/Under.

Implied Probabilities:
- Syracuse -37.5 at decimal odds of ~1.91 implies a ~52.3% chance to cover.
- Over 64.5 at 1.91 also implies a 52.3% chance.

Combine them, and you’ve got a parlay with theoretical odds of ~27% (1.91 x 1.91 = 3.648 → 1/3.648 ≈ 27.4%). But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Digest the News: Injuries, Coaching Cameos, and a Freshman’s First Date
Syracuse enters with a 1-1 record but a 22-0 all-time mark against FCS teams, including a 17-game win streak against Colgate. Their home dominance (618-128 in in-state games) is as reliable as a student-athlete’s pregame pizza regret. However, key absences loom: safety Devin Grant (replaced by Pro Football Focus darling Cornell Perry, 71.5 grade), running back Yasin Willis, and offensive line stalwart Trevion Mack. Ouch.

Colgate, meanwhile, is led by first-time head coach Curt Fitzpatrick, who Fran Brown himself tried to recruit (kudos for the humblebrag, Fran). Their defense has allowed 790 passing yards over two games—the second-worst in FCS—and three touchdowns of 51+ yards. Their offense? Reliant on LSU transfer Rickie Collins Jr. (7 pass attempts… so far) and wideout Treyvhon Saunders, who’s already racked up 360 yards and 3 TDs. Sounds like a team that’ll either shock you or let you shock them.

Humorous Spin: Football, Metaphors, and Why You Should Never Trust a Coach Named Fran
Syracuse’s defense? It’s like a sieve that’s been told “no” one too many times. They missed eight tackles against Tennessee and gave up nine sacks. If they’re a cheese grater, they’re the kind that only grates 20% of the time and occasionally starts a fire.

Colgate’s defense, though, is a screen door in a hurricane—built for FCS opponents with the passing attack of a toddler’s bubble machine. They’ve allowed 71.2% completions and three long TDs. If Syracuse’s QB Steve Angeli (60.6% completion rate, 7.34 YPA) can avoid turning into a human Jell-O mold, he’ll exploit this sieve-in-a-hurricane defense.

And let’s not forget Fran Brown’s “DART” and “CCT” mantras. Are these revolutionary strategies or just coaching buzzwords designed to sound like they belong in a self-help seminar? Only time will tell if they’re the key to fixing a team that’s “detailed” enough to lose first-down yards.

Prediction: The Same-Game Parlay You’ll Thank Me For
Syracuse -37.5 AND Over 64.5
Why? Because Colgate’s defense is a sieve, and Syracuse’s offense, despite its hiccups, should feast on big plays. Angeli’s 7.34 YPA suggests he’ll pick apart a secondary that’s allowed 360+ yards to Saunders’ counterpart. And with Colgate’s offense averaging just 300 passing yards but surrendering 64.5 points… well, the math checks out.

Final Score Prediction: Syracuse 42, Colgate 27.
“We’ve got to become more detailed,” says Fran Brown. Details? Pfft. I’ll take a 27-point win and a 69-yard touchdown pass from Angeli to a freshman wide receiver making his debut.

Verdict: Lay the points and ride the Over. It’s the only way to watch this game without a migraine—and maybe a fire extinguisher.

Place your bets, but don’t blame me if Fran’s “CCT” turns into a TikTok dance trend instead of a game plan. 🏈🔥

Created: Sept. 12, 2025, 8:55 p.m. GMT