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Parlay: Edmonton Oilers VS Montréal Canadiens 2025-12-14

Edmonton Oilers vs. Montreal Canadiens: A High-Stakes, High-Scoring Showdown
The Oilers and Canadiens are set for a back-to-back clash in Montreal, and if you thought this game would be a snoozer, you’ve clearly never seen a team with Connor McDavid on the ice. Let’s break down the numbers, news, and why your same-game parlay should be as bold as McDavid’s slapshot.

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Parsing the Odds: A Tale of Two Sieves
The Oilers (-130) are the chalk here, with a 55.9% implied win probability. Their offense is a nuclear reactor: McDavid (18 goals) and Draisaitl (999 career points away) are scoring so much, they should get their own ZIP code. But their defense? A sieve. Edmonton allows the 26th-most goals in the league, which is like asking a toddler to guard a bakery.

The Canadiens (+102) are the underdogs, but don’t sleep on them. They’ve won 53.8% of games as underdogs this season, which is either a testament to their grit or their bookmakers’ poor math. Their defense? Also a sieve, but a different sieve—one that leaks pucks like a rusty water main. Montreal allows the second-most goals in the NHL, which is impressive if you’re a fan of chaos.

The puck line? Edmonton must win by two (-1.5, +189). Given the Oilers’ offensive firepower and the Habs’ goaltending (Calvin Pickard, 4.04 GAA, and Jakub Dobes, 3.15 GAA), this spread feels like asking a cheetah to outrun a sloth… but with more pucks.

The over/under is 6.5 goals, and both teams have combined for 18 overs in 31 games this season. With Edmonton’s third-ranked offense and Montreal’s 10th-ranked offense colliding against each other’s porous defenses, this game is a statistical inevitability for the Over.

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News Digest: Injuries, Debutants, and a Star on Fire
The Oilers are missing key pieces like Jack Roslovic and Noah Philp, but their core is intact. Backup goaltenders Tristan Jarry (.893 SV%) and Spencer Stastney (-1 rating) are… well, they’re not Andrei Vasilevskiy. But hey, they’re fresh legs after a back-to-back, and Edmonton’s offense is so good, they’d probably win with a goaltender made of cardboard.

The Canadiens? They’re missing Patrik Laine and Kirby Dach, but Nick Suzuki is on a tear—10 assists in 11 games, including a two-assist performance in their last game. Defenseman Noah Dobson, Montreal’s key offseason acquisition, is blocking shots like a human wall (12 blocked in three games) and averaging 22 minutes of ice time. He’s the Habs’ best hope to not let McDavid and Co. turn the Bell Centre into a personal goal-scoring exhibition.

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The Humor: Pucks, Puns, and Porous Defenses
Let’s be real: The Oilers’ defense is so bad, they’d let a zombie score a goal. Their backup goalies? They’re playing like they’ve never seen a puck before—Jarry’s .893 SV% is about as reliable as a umbrella in a hurricane. Meanwhile, Montreal’s defense is like a colander that’s been told a bad joke—constantly leaking.

Nick Suzuki is the Canadiens’ secret weapon, but even he can’t out-assist a sieve. And the Canadiens’ goaltenders? They’re playing like they’re on a quest to break the “most goals allowed” record. If this game were a movie, it’d be called The Great Escape… for the Oilers.

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Prediction: Parlay the Over and the Oilers Cover
Same-Game Parlay Pick:
- Edmonton Oilers -1.5 (+189)
- Over 6.5 Goals (-110)

Why? Because the Oilers’ offense is a flamethrower, and the Canadiens’ defense is a paper towel. McDavid and Draisaitl will light up the scoreboard, while Montreal’s goaltenders will look like they’re trying to stop a waterfall with a colander. The Over is a lock, and the Oilers’ -1.5 spread is a steal given their offensive dominance and the Habs’ defensive incompetence.

Final Score Prediction: Edmonton 5, Montreal 3. The Oilers win by two, the Over explodes, and you’ll be sipping champagne while your friends wonder why they bet on the Under.

Bet like a boss, and may your parlay be as unstoppable as McDavid on a breakaway. 🏀🏒

Created: Dec. 14, 2025, 7:58 p.m. GMT