Create Parlays

Parlay: Fresno State Bulldogs VS Colorado State Rams 2025-10-10

Fresno State vs. Colorado State: A Parlay of Doom for the Rams

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for a football spectacle where the Fresno State Bulldogs are about to turn Colorado State’s hopes into a piñata of despair—and then sit on it for good measure. Let’s dissect this Mountain West clash with the precision of a surgeon (who, let’s be honest, would probably botch a tackle like Colorado State’s defense).

---

Parsing the Odds: Why Fresno’s Spread is a Golden Ticket
Fresno State (-6.5, -250) is the undisputed favorite here, and the numbers don’t lie. The Bulldogs have won five straight games since a season-opening loss to Kansas, and their defense is a statistical nightmare for opposing offenses. Ranked 30th nationally in total yards allowed (308.2 per game) and second in the Mountain West in scoring defense (19.5 PPG), Fresno’s defense is like a locked vault guarded by a grumpy beagle who doesn’t take “quarterback” for an answer.

Colorado State (+6.5, +200), meanwhile, is a team in crisis. Their offense averages a paltry 17 points per game, and their defense? Well, they’ve allowed 38+ points twice this season, including a 45-24 shellacking by San Diego State. Their home record is so惨 (losing by 17 to Washington State and by 1 point to UTSA) that Canvas Stadium might as well be renamed “Canvas of Despair.”

The Over/Under is set at 47.5, and here’s the kicker: Fresno State has scored 36+ points in three of their last five games, while Colorado State’s defense is so leaky, it could pass for a sieve at a Renaissance fair. The implied probability of the Over is 52.38% (based on -110 odds), but with Fresno’s offensive consistency and CSU’s defensive incompetence, this one is primed to blow the roof off.

---

News Roundup: Injuries, Coaching Drama, and a Freshman’s Burden
Let’s start with the bad news for Colorado State. Their starting quarterback, Jackson Brousseau, is expected to play, but let’s be real—he’s replacing a quarterback (Brayden Fowler-Nicolosi) who probably still has nightmares about this matchup. The Rams’ offense is led by freshman running back Jalen Dupree (370 yards, 1 TD) and wideout Armani Winfield (203 yards, 1 TD). Translation: They’re a work in progress, like a soufflé that forgot to rise.

Defensively, Colorado State is relying on Owen Long, the nation’s leading tackler (68 total), to carry the load. But with injured linebacker Jacob Ellis out, the Rams are asking JaQues Evans and Lemondre Joe to perform magic. Evans and Joe have combined for… let’s see… checks notes… zero touchdowns this season.

On the Fresno side, quarterback E.J. Warner is a dual threat—throwing for 1,136 yards and seven TDs, but also coughing up six interceptions. It’s the football equivalent of a magician who forgets his own tricks. Still, running back Bryson Donelson (382 yards, 3 TDs) is a workhorse, and Fresno’s defense has nine interceptions by six different players. It’s like a pickup line: someone’s always getting picked.

As for Colorado State head coach Jay Norvell, he’s facing mounting pressure. With a record of 1-4 and a lone win over FCS Northern Colorado, his job security is about as stable as a Jenga tower built by a toddler. The staff predictions don’t help: one analyst even says Norvell will be fired regardless of the result.

---

The Humor: Football as Absurdism
Colorado State’s offense is so anemic, it makes a sloth on anti-depressants look like Usain Bolt. Their 17-point average per game is the football equivalent of showing up to a BBQ with a single pickle. Meanwhile, Fresno’s defense is so dominant, it could make a librarian blush at the sight of a touchdown.

Imagine Colorado State’s coaching staff: “We need to score more points!” “How?” “I dunno, maybe tell Jalen Dupree to start juggling touchdowns?”

And let’s not forget the Over/Under. At 47.5, this game feels like a bet on whether a toddler will finish a cake—sure, they’ll eat some, but they’ll also spill frosting everywhere. With Fresno’s offense and Colorado’s defense, expect a shootout where the Rams’ defense gets a participation trophy and the Bulldogs’ offense wins “Most Likely to Cause a Headache.”

---

The Verdict: A Parlay for the Ages
Best Same-Game Parlay: Fresno State -6.5 (-120) + Over 47.5 (-110)

Why? Because Fresno’s defense will stifle Colorado State’s offense (think of it as a bear hug for a toddler’s snack time), while their offense will methodically pick apart a Rams defense that’s about as impenetrable as a sieve at a cheese factory. The Over is a no-brainer—Fresno’s 36+ point games and CSU’s leaky D will ensure the score hits 48+ points.

Final Prediction: Fresno State 34, Colorado State 17.

Bet the parlay, and if you’re feeling spicy, throw in a prop on Owen Long’s tackles (he’s got 68 already; why not 100?). But whatever you do, don’t bet on Colorado State’s hope. It’s checked out.

Created: Oct. 10, 2025, 1:43 p.m. GMT