Parlay: Golden State Valkyries VS Connecticut Sun 2025-07-27

Golden State Valkyries vs. Connecticut Sun: A Same-Game Parlay for the Ages
Where the Sun Sets on a Losing Streak and the Valkyries Ride In on Defensive Horses

Parsing the Odds: A Tale of Two Teams
Let’s start with the cold, hard numbers. The Golden State Valkyries (-278 on the moneyline) are the clear favorites here, despite being the worst team in the WNBA at 3-20. Wait, no—Connecticut is 3-20. Golden State is 11-12, which, in WNBA math, makes them the equivalent of a “respectable college student who still uses a flip phone.” Their defense is a fortress, allowing a league-low 78.0 points per game—so tight, even a spreadsheet can’t wriggle through. The Sun, meanwhile, are the 13th-ranked offense at 73.3 points per game, which is like trying to win a race with a tricycle while everyone else has a Tesla.

The total is set at 156.5 points, and here’s where it gets spicy: Golden State’s defense is so stifling, they’ve held opponents under 75 points in three of their last five games. But the Sun’s offense? It’s so anemic, they’d probably lose to a team of high schoolers and a motivational speaker. Yet, here we are, with the over/under hovering around 156.5. Why? Because someone must have faith in these two teams to combine for the energy of a wet blanket.

Digesting the News: Injuries, Streaks, and Tina Charles’ Existence
Golden State’s star Kayla Thornton is out with an injury, which is as helpful as a screen door on a submarine. But hey, at least they’ve got Tiffany Hayes (14.5 PPG over/under) and Marina Mabrey (13.5 PPG over/under) to pick up the slack. Hayes is like a Swiss Army knife—if that knife also happened to be a highlight reel. Mabrey? She’s the human equivalent of a “Points For:” line in a budget spreadsheet.

Connecticut, on the other hand, is a team in freefall. They’ve lost four straight, and their only saving grace is Tina Charles, who’s averaging 18.2 points and 9.1 rebounds per game. But even Charles can’t outscore a team that’s been outscored by an average of 12.3 points per game this season. It’s like trying to fill a bathtub with a thimble while the drain’s clogged with regret.

The Humor: Because Sports Needs Laughs
Let’s be real: The Sun’s offense is so weak, they’d probably lose to a team of synchronized swimmers. Their 73.3 PPG is about as exciting as a tax audit. Meanwhile, Golden State’s defense is so good, they’ve probably made opposing coaches question their life choices.

And don’t get me started on the total. 156.5 points? That’s like asking a toddler to balance on a tightrope. The Valkyries’ defense will likely hold the Sun to 60, and the Sun’s offense will score another 60, for a combined 120—enough to make the “Under” look like a wise old owl in a room full of chickens. But wait! Hayes and Mabrey could go off for 30 each, and Charles might drop 25. Suddenly, we’re talking about a 156.5 total that’s higher than a giraffe’s neck on a trampoline.

Prediction: The Parlay Play
Here’s the play: Golden State Valkyries to win AND the total to go OVER 156.5 points.

Why? Because the Valkyries’ defense will keep this game close, but their offense—led by Hayes and Mabrey—has enough firepower to push the total past the 156.5 threshold. Connecticut’s porous defense (allowing 78.0 PPG) means they’ll let Golden State’s stars cook, and their own lackluster offense will avoid a “shutout” by, you know, not being shut out.

The math checks out: Golden State’s implied probability of winning is 73.3% (thanks to those -278 odds), and the over/under is a 50-50 coin flip. Combine the two, and you’ve got a parlay with a 36.6% implied chance of paying off—odds that make even a Vegas bookie blush.

Final Verdict: Bet the Valkyries to win and the total to go over. Because in this matchup, the only thing scoring more than Connecticut is the number of “Why are we still watching this?” sighs in the stands.

Go Valkyries. And if you bet the Sun, may your confidence be as sturdy as their defense. 🏀🔥

Created: July 27, 2025, 1:26 p.m. GMT