Create Parlays

Parlay: Indiana State Sycamores VS Indiana Hoosiers 2025-09-12

The Hoosiers Are a 47.5-Point Favorite—But Let’s Not Get Carried Away (Unless You’re Indiana’s Offense)

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for a football game so lopsided it’ll make a teetering Jenga tower blush. The No. 22 Indiana Hoosiers (2-0) host the Indiana State Sycamores (2-0) in a matchup that’s less of a contest and more of a math problem. The Hoosiers are a staggering -47.5-point favorites, and the total points line sits at 59.5. Let’s break this down with the precision of a spreadsheet and the humor of a dad joke.

---

Parse the Odds: A Statistical Car Wash for Indiana State
First, the numbers: Indiana has won 7 of 8 meetings against Indiana State, including a 56-9 drubbing of Kennesaw State this season where quarterback Fernando Mendoza completed 72% of his passes for four touchdowns. The Hoosiers’ home dominance is legendary—10-0 at Memorial Stadium since last year, a streak that’s about as sustainable as a diet of only pizza rolls.

On the other side, Indiana State’s 2-0 start is impressive on paper, but their 4-8 record last season smells like a wet sock. Their quarterback, Keegan Patterson, is a dual-threat (78 rushing yards vs. Eastern Illinois), but facing Indiana’s defense—led by eligibility-adjacent cornerback Louis Moore—is like bringing a spoon to a sword fight. Moore, who’s been cleared to play at least two more games (pending NCAA hearings that sound like a reality TV show), already has two interceptions this season. His legal team must be tighter than the Hoosiers’ defensive rankings.

Implied probabilities? At decimal odds of ~1.91 for Indiana (-47.5), the implied win probability is roughly 50.6%. But given Indiana’s home form and Indiana State’s historical ineptitude, this line feels like a kindergartener betting a grandpa who fell asleep in a recliner.

---

Digest the News: Moore’s Legal Drama and a QB Named “Espresso”
Let’s talk about Louis Moore. The man’s eligibility hearing was postponed, but his play on the field? Active. With Moore patrolling the secondary, Indiana’s defense looks less like a unit and more like a superhero support group. “He’s intercepted passes in back-to-back games,” one observer said. “If he keeps this up, they’ll name him MVP… of the NFL in 2030.”

Then there’s Fernando Mendoza, whose 64.3% completion rate this season makes him the closest thing to a human espresso shot. He’s not just a quarterback—he’s a guarantee. Meanwhile, Indiana State’s Patterson is a “two-way threat” in the literal sense: He’s got legs, arms, and probably a second job as a part-time escape artist (how else does one rack up 111 passing and 78 rushing yards in a single game?).

---

Humorous Spin: A Game Where the Underdog Wears a “I Heart Hoosiers” T-Shirt
Imagine this game as a cooking show. Indiana is the Michelin-starred chef with a 5-star Yelp review, while Indiana State is the guy who shows up with a hotplate and a dream. The spread of 47.5 points isn’t a prediction—it’s a public service announcement.

What’s the over/under? 59.5 points. That’s enough scoring to make a basketball game jealous. With Mendoza’s arm and Indiana State’s porous defense (they allowed 38 points to Eastern Illinois—a team), the over is about as risky as betting the sun will rise. Unless Indiana’s offense decides to take a group nap, this game will shatter the total.

---

Prediction: The Same-Game Parlay That Writes Itself
Best parlay: Indiana Hoosiers to cover the -47.5 spread AND the over 59.5 points.

Why? Because Indiana’s offense is a well-oiled machine (Mendoza, Plez Lawrence, Elijah Sarratt—oh my!) and Indiana State’s defense is a sieve that’s been upgraded to a colander. The Hoosiers will win by 50, the Sycamores will score a touchdown just to keep the game “respectable,” and the total will soar.

Final Score Prediction: Indiana 49, Indiana State 14.

In conclusion, this isn’t a game—it’s a math test. Pass the popcorn, and maybe a Xanax, to the Indiana State fans. The Hoosiers are about to turn this into a highlight reel… and a law school application for Louis Moore.

Created: Sept. 12, 2025, 8:56 p.m. GMT