Parlay: Minnesota Timberwolves VS Philadelphia 76ers 2025-10-17

Philadelphia 76ers vs. Minnesota Timberwolves: Preseason Showdown
Where Benchwarmers Meet Big Bets and Joel Embiid Returns Like a Philly Cheesesteak—Hot, Heroic, and Slightly Overpriced

1. Parse the Odds: The Math of Misery and Mild Hope
The Minnesota Timberwolves enter this game as the paper favorites, sitting at +7.5 on the spread with moneyline odds hovering around +3.40 (implied probability: ~29%). Meanwhile, the Philadelphia 76ers, despite being winless in the preseason, are the betting darlings at -7.5 on the spread and a moneyline favorite of -134 (implied probability: ~75%). But here’s the rub: Minnesota’s starters—Anthony Edwards, Jaden McDaniels, and co.—are all resting after a back-to-back grind. Philadelphia, meanwhile, gets Joel Embiid back for his preseason debut, though he’s still not fully conditioned.

The spread of -7.5 for Philly feels like a phantom. The 76ers’ starters (Embiid, Paul George) are still sidelined for the regular season, and their bench has gone 0-4 in the preseason. The Timberwolves’ bench? They’ve got Rob Dillingham and Terrence Shannon Jr. looking like playoff contenders in exhibition play. Statistically, this is a clash of “almost-ready” vs. “let’s-pretend-we’re-ready.”

2. Digest the News: Injuries, Rest, and a Dash of Absurdity
The Timberwolves are playing the second night of a back-to-back, with Anthony Edwards still nursing a 24-hour-old loss to the Bulls. Coach Chris Finch is treating this like a developmental camp for Rob Dillingham and a guy named “Johnny Juzang” (yes, that’s a real name). Minnesota’s starters are as involved as a spectator at a chess match.

The 76ers? They’re hosting a “Welcome Back, Joel” party. Embiid, the 31-year-old “Philly Prince of Pain,” is finally healthy enough to play, though he’s more likely to drop 18 points in 20 minutes than dominate like a $50 million rental car. Philadelphia’s bench, meanwhile, has the energy of a group of accountants at a karaoke bar—winless but not without potential.

Key injury notes:
- Minnesota: Jaylen Clark (neck) is out, but Leonard Miller and Joe Ingles are back. Think of it as a “minor sprain of their competitive edge.”
- Philadelphia: Paul George is still “conditioning,” which is NBA code for “he’s watching Netflix in a sauna.”

3. Humorous Spin: The Absurdity of Preseason Betting
Let’s be real: This game is like a WWE match where the crowd knows the script but pretends not to. The Timberwolves’ bench is playing for NBA futures, while the 76ers’ bench is playing for the dignity of not being 0-5 in exhibitions.

Embiid’s return is like a Philly cheesesteak—loved, iconic, and slightly overpriced. He’s not the same guy who won MVP last year; he’s more like a cheesesteak that’s been microwaved twice.
- Minnesota’s starters are as involved as a vegan at a barbecue. They’ll show up, maybe take a bite of the metaphorical burger, and then leave to meditate.
- The spread of -7.5? That’s the NBA’s way of saying, “We’re not sure who to root for, so let’s just invent a number and call it a day.”

4. Prediction: The Parlay Play
Same-Game Parlay Recommendation:
- Philadelphia 76ers to Win (-7.5)
- Over 223.5 Points

Why?
- Embiid’s return injects scoring pop into a 76ers offense that’s been drier than a Philadelphia winter. Even if he’s not 100%, his presence forces the Timberwolves’ bench to play catch-up.
- Minnesota’s bench, while talented, lacks the firepower to shut down Embiid and Tyrese Maxey’s “I’m here to prove something” energy.
- The Over is a no-brainer. With Embiid likely to dominate inside and the Timberwolves’ young guards taking reckless threes, this game could blow past 223.5.

Implied Probability Check:
- 76ers to win (-134) = ~75% implied probability.
- Over 223.5 (even odds) = 50% implied probability.
Combined, the parlay has ~37.5% implied probability, but the value lies in Embiid’s return and the Timberwolves’ defensive instability.

Final Verdict:
This isn’t a game about who’s better—it’s about who’s less bad. The 76ers have the edge with Embiid’s return, while the Timberwolves’ starters are as involved as a ghost in a haunted toaster. Bet Philly to win and cover, and don’t forget the Over. After all, in preseason, the only thing more predictable than the score is the number of players tripping over their own shoelaces.

Place your bets, Philadelphia. The cheese steak is hot, the spread is warm, and the Timberwolves’ bench is… well, they’re just here for the snacks. 🏀

Created: Oct. 17, 2025, 6:28 p.m. GMT