Parlay: Montréal Canadiens VS Calgary Flames 2025-10-22

Same-Game Parlay Breakdown: Montreal Canadiens vs. Calgary Flames
Where the Flames Are Dying to Be Drafted and the Canadiens Are Just Trying Not to Trip Over Their Own Pucks

1. Parse the Odds: A Tale of Two Teams (One Is Terrible)
The Calgary Flames have opened the 2025-26 season like a broken espresso machine—1-6-0, with a goals-per-game rate (1.57) so low it makes a sloth look like Usain Bolt. Their goaltender, Dustin Wolf, has a save percentage (.866) that’s basically a math teacher’s nightmare. Meanwhile, the Montreal Canadiens are 5-2, averaging 3.5 goals per game, and led by Nick Suzuki, who’s scoring like he’s got a personal vendetta against defensemen.

Key Stats to Note:
- Montreal’s Edge: The Habs have outscored opponents 24-16 in their last five games. Their power play? A well-oiled circus act (82% efficiency in their last six games).
- Calgary’s Collapse: The Flames have allowed 3.86 goals per game—roughly the same number of excuses their fans are making for this team. Their leading scorer, Matt Coronato, has as many goals as a toddler’s vocabulary (three words: not enough).
- Odds Breakdown: Montreal is a -125 favorite (implied probability: 55.6%), while Calgary is a +105 underdog (42.3%). The total goals line is 5.5, with the over priced at 1.78 (56.2% implied) and the under at 2.04 (49%).

2. Digest the News: Injuries, Draft Hopes, and One Goalie’s Secret Circus Career
- Calgary’s Woes: The Flames are missing Jonathan Huberdeau (injured) and Martin Pospisil (out with a mysterious “hip flexor” that’s probably just a metaphor for their entire season). Their only win? A shootout against the Oilers that was less a hockey game and more a roll of the dice. As one fan put it, “We’re not bad; we’re just statistically blessed with bad luck.”
- Montreal’s Momentum: The Habs are riding a five-game winning streak, buoyed by Lane Hutson’s recent resurgence (5 points in 5 games). Their goalie, Sam Montembeault, isn’t a circus acrobat, but he’s got the reflexes of one—stopping pucks like a man who’s seen too many trapeze accidents.
- Wolf’s Wild Card: Dustin Wolf, Calgary’s goalie, is 3-0 against Montreal this season with a .955 save percentage. But let’s be real: facing the Habs again is like asking a toddler to babysit a pack of wolves.

3. Humorous Spin: Why This Game Is a One-Sided Joke
The Flames are so bad, their coach probably uses a Ouija board to decide lineups. Their power play? A group of accountants trying to balance a checkbook. Meanwhile, the Canadiens are like a well-stocked buffet—everyone’s scoring, and the defense is just there for ambiance.

Calgary’s Offense: Scoring 1.57 goals per game is like bringing a spoon to a buffet. You’re not unsuccessful—you’re just… underprepared.
- Montreal’s Offense: The Habs average 3.5 goals per game. That’s not a power play; that’s a power outage for the opposition.
- The Total Goals Line: 5.5 goals? With Calgary’s porous defense and Montreal’s offensive artillery, this game could end with more goals than a Black Friday sale.

4. Prediction: Bet on the Habs and the Over, Unless You Enjoy Suffering
Same-Game Parlay Pick: Montreal Canadiens to Win (-125) + Over 5.5 Goals (1.78)
- Why It Works: Montreal’s offense (3.5 GPG) meets Calgary’s defense (3.86 GAA) like a loaded cannon meets a paper target. The Habs have the edge in talent, health, and basic hockey decency. The over/under? With both teams’ tendencies, hitting 6 goals is about as likely as Taylor Swift writing a song about you.

Final Verdict: Take the Canadiens to win and the over. If you’re feeling really masochistic, throw in a prop bet that Calgary will score first… just to watch it backfire.

As the great hockey philosopher Wayne Gretzky once said, “Skate to where the puck is going, not where it’s been.” The puck, in this case, is heading straight into the Flames’ net.

Bet accordingly, and may your parlay be as cold as Dustin Wolf’s save percentage. �🥅

Created: Oct. 22, 2025, 7:46 p.m. GMT