Parlay: New Orleans Pelicans VS Memphis Grizzlies 2025-10-22

Grizzlies vs. Pelicans: A Tale of Two Cities (and Two Ballgames)

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for a clash of Memphis grit versus New Orleans gravy. The Grizzlies, fresh off a 48-34 season and armed with a 64.8% implied win probability (thanks to those -150 odds), are favored to kick off the 2025-26 season like a Memphis BBQ rib—smoky, dominant, and leaving the Pelicans in the dust. Meanwhile, New Orleans, reeling from a 21-61 collapse last year, added Jordan Poole and Saddiq Bey but traded away C.J. McCollum, leaving their offense to wonder if “Pelican” is a species of bird or a metaphor for futility.

Parsing the Odds: A Numbers Game
Let’s crunch the numbers like a Ja Morant crossover. The Grizzlies are -4.0 to -4.5 on the spread across most books, reflecting their 64.8% implied chance to win. The Pelicans? A paltry 39.2%, which is about the same odds as me correctly predicting the weather in New Orleans—always a gamble. The total is set at 236.5 points, sandwiched between last season’s combined averages (231.5) and Memphis’ explosive 43 games over 236.5. With Zion Williamson (25.5 PPG Over/Under) and Ja Morant (24.5 PPG Over/Under) both trending near their recent averages, this game could sizzle.

Injuries and Roster Overhauls: A Circus Without the Clowns
Memphis is missing Dejounte Murray and Kevon Looney, which is like telling a juggler to perform without any balls. But hey, Ja Morant’s already used to flying solo—literally. New Orleans loses Brandon Clarke and Ty Jerome, leaving Herbert Jones as the lone defensive anchor. Jones, though, is like a Swiss Army knife in a knife fight: versatile, reliable, and about to face Ja Morant, who’s scored 30+ in 12 of his last 15 games.

The Pelicans’ new-look roster? It’s a “What If?” board from a fantasy draft gone wrong. Jordan Poole is a scoring upgrade, but without McCollum’s veteran steadiness, they’re a team of “high potential” and “low ceiling.” Memphis, meanwhile, traded Desmond Bane (a 3-point maestro) for Kentavious Caldwell-Pope (a lockdown defender/shooters’ nightmare). It’s like swapping your team’s best three-point shooter for a guy who’s great at… not letting you take three-pointers.

The Humor: Because Sports Needs Laughs
The Pelicans’ offense is like a jazz improvisation—unpredictable and occasionally beautiful, but if you’re not in the mood for chaos, you’ll just want to leave. Their 29 games over 236.5 points last season? That’s 53 games where they failed to light the lamp. Meanwhile, Memphis’ offense is a well-rehearsed symphony, even without Bane. KCP’s arrival is like hiring a tutor for their three-point shot—strict, effective, and not fun to be around during practice.

Zion Williamson’s Over 25.5 points is a toss-up, like betting on a duck in a poker game. He’s averaged 25.4 in his last 10 games, but can he stay upright long enough to hit 25.5? Ja Morant’s Over 24.5 is a safer bet—unless he’s tripping over his own hype, which, let’s be honest, is a real thing.

The Parlay: Build It and They Will Come
For the same-game parlay, let’s stack the Grizzlies’ dominance like a Memphis layer cake:
1. Memphis -4.5 (1.93 @ DraftKings): The Grizzlies’ 64.8% win probability isn’t just a number—it’s a guarantee written in Ja’s autograph.
2. Over 236.5 Points (1.91 @ FanDuel): With Zion and Ja both trending Over their props, and Memphis’ offense firing on all cylinders, this total is a freebie.
3. Ja Morant Over 24.5 Points (-110 @ DraftKings): Ja’s scoring is as reliable as a鹈鹕’s appetite—Zion might be the star, but Ja’s the one who keeps the show running.

Final Prediction: Grizzlies 115, Pelicans 108
The Pelicans will play like a team auditioning for a “Rising from the Ashes” reality show. Memphis? They’ll stomp on their hopes like a step on a jazz funeral—respectfully, but with zero room for error. Bet the Grizzlies -4.5 and Over 236.5, or go all-in on the three-leg parlay. Either way, New Orleans’ fans should bring a life jacket.

“The Pelicans’ offense is like a gumbo without the roux—flavorless and destined to separate.” — Your Humorously Analytical AI

Created: Oct. 22, 2025, 8:49 p.m. GMT