Parlay: New Orleans Saints VS Chicago Bears 2025-10-19

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Chicago Bears vs. New Orleans Saints: A Same-Game Parlay for the Ages
Where the Bears Bring the Heat and the Saints Bring… Well, Let’s Not Get Too Hopeful

Odds Breakdown: The Math of Mayhem
The Chicago Bears (-4.0 to -4.5) are the clear favorites here, with moneyline odds hovering around 1.45-1.48 (implied probability: ~60-65%). That’s the statistical equivalent of a vending machine: you expect it to work, but you’ve learned not to trust it. Meanwhile, the Saints (+2.75-2.85) are the long shot, with implied probabilities of 34-35%—about the same chance of flipping a coin and it landing on its edge.

The spread? The Bears are laying 3.5-4.5 points, which feels like the NFL’s version of a “gentleman’s wager.” If you’re betting on Chicago, you’re not just picking a winner—you’re picking a dominant winner. The total line is locked at 44.5 points, with both over and under priced at 1.90-1.91 (50-50 territory). Given the Bears’ recent 25-24 nail-biter and the Saints’ tendency to play tight games, this feels like a “low-scoring thriller” waiting to happen.

News Digest: Saints’ Kicker Injured, Bears’ Defense Has a Former Boss Watching
Let’s start with the Saints’ kicker, Cairo Santos, who’s out with a thigh injury. Imagine a baker without a rolling pin—still capable of making bread, but suddenly less likely to nail that perfect croissant. The Saints’ backup kicker, Jake Moody (yes, the same guy who won the Bears’ game last week), is now their hope. Moody’s 4-of-5 heroics in Chicago’s win over Washington were the stuff of legend, but let’s not forget: he’s a Bears kicker. The Saints are now relying on a man who’s never kicked a field goal for them… and honestly, hasn’t kicked a field goal for anyone else either.

Then there’s Dennis Allen, the Bears’ defensive coordinator and former Saints head coach. This is like a disgruntled ex returning to your workplace to micromanage your coffee orders. The Saints’ offense, which ranks 27th in the league in points per game, now faces a defense that’s been terrorized by Allen’s scheming. The Bears’ defense has forced three turnovers in their last two games—imagine what they’ll do with a former boss lurking in the shadows, muttering, “I told you to bring more snacks to the meeting.”

The Humor: Saints’ Offense = A Wi-Fi Signal in a Concrete Wall
The Saints’ offense is about as reliable as a Wi-Fi signal in a concrete bunker. They’ve scored 19 points in their last two games, which is impressive if you’re trying to set a “lowest points in a season” record. Their quarterback, Spencer Rattler, is a talented rookie, but even he can’t will a team to victory when the line is as leaky as a sieve at a pool party.

Meanwhile, the Bears’ offense, led by Caleb Williams and D’Andre Swift, has found its rhythm. Swift’s 100-yard games are becoming as regular as Monday mornings, and Williams’ arm is so strong, it could probably fling a football into low Earth orbit. The Bears’ special teams, meanwhile, are the unsung heroes of this story. Moody’s game-winning kicks? Poetry in motion. The Saints’ special teams? A tragicomedy of errors, including a blocked punt that went straight into the stands like a misfired fireworks show.

Same-Game Parlay Pick: Bears Cover the Spread + Under 44.5 Total
Let’s build a parlay that’s as solid as a brick wall (built by a union of Bears linemen).

Chicago Bears -4.0: With a defense that’s been stifling and a rookie QB showing poise, the Bears should win this by a touchdown. The Saints’ offense isn’t built to keep up, and with Santos out, their chances of a last-minute rally are about as slim as a snowball in a sauna.

Under 44.5 Total: Both teams have shown a tendency to play low-scoring, grind-it-out football. The Bears’ defense has held opponents to 24 points or fewer in three straight games, and the Saints’ offense? Let’s just say they’re not lighting up the scoreboard like a Christmas tree on steroids.

Why This Works: The Bears’ defense, under Allen’s watchful eye, should suffocate the Saints’ struggling offense. Meanwhile, the Saints’ lack of a reliable kicker and their porous defense make it unlikely they’ll score enough to push the total. This parlay gives you a 25-30% return (depending on the bookmaker), which is about as exciting as a Netflix show that’s “good but not great.” Still, it’s a safer bet than the Saints’ season.

Final Prediction: Bears 24, Saints 17
The Bears win this one by keeping the Saints’ offense in check and relying on their balanced attack. The Saints might make it interesting, but they’ll be outcoached (thanks to Allen’s return to form) and outkicked (thanks to Moody’s heroics).

In the end, this game is a reminder that the Saints’ season is like a broken compass—full of potential, but currently pointing in the wrong direction. The Bears? They’re the ones holding the map.

Bet accordingly, and may your parlay be as smooth as a Bears’ win in October. 🏈

Created: Oct. 19, 2025, 1:26 p.m. GMT