Parlay: Oakland Golden Grizzlies VS Michigan St Spartans 2025-12-20
Michigan State vs. Oakland: A Same-Game Parlay for the Ages
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for a basketball clash that’s equal parts “Why are we still talking about the Golden Grizzlies?” and “Tom Izzo’s defense is a brick wall with a side of humility.” On December 20, No. 9 Michigan State (10-1) hosts Oakland (6-6) as a 20.5-point favorite, and while the math screams “Spartans, baby!”, the comedy of errors in this matchup is too rich to ignore. Let’s break it down with the precision of a circus acrobat and the humor of a coach whose team just turned the ball over 20 times.
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Parsing the Odds: A Tale of Two Rebounds
Michigan State’s defense is a medieval fortress: 11th in the nation in points allowed (62.7 PPG) and +167 scoring differential. They outrebound opponents by 13.2 boards per game—imagine a team so dominant on the glass, they’re literally hoarding basketballs like Scrooge McDuck in a gym. Their offense? Well, it’s a leaky faucet: 173rd in scoring (77.9 PPG) and 36.5% from three—barely better than their opponents.
Oakland, meanwhile, is the basketball equivalent of a toddler with a flamethrower: explosive (84.1 PPG) but wildly inefficient (348th in points allowed). Their three-point shooting? A tragicomic 33.2% (249th). They’re led by Brody Robinson (16.3 PPG) and Isaac Garrett (15.2 PPG), but their rebounding is so poor (30.6 RPG, 295th) that they might need to start a GoFundMe for a net.
Key stat: Michigan State’s +15.2 PPG scoring margin vs. Oakland’s -4. The Spartans are here to play defense; the Golden Grizzlies are here to… try not to embarrass themselves?
Digesting the News: Kampe’s Curse and Izzo’s “Growth”
Oakland’s coach, Greg Kampe, is 66 years old and has spent 41 seasons coaching Division I basketball. His record against Michigan State? A staggering 0-23, including three heartbreakers in 2010, 2013, and 2015. Kampe’s team has lost to Top-10 opponents (Michigan, Purdue, Houston), so this game is either a “prove-it” moment or a chance to add “Detroit” to their list of places they’ve almost pulled off an upset.
Michigan State’s Tom Izzo, meanwhile, is treating this as a “tune-up” before an eight-day holiday break. His team just beat Toledo 92-69, which is like a pro boxer taking on a toddler and wondering why the crowd isn’t impressed. Izzo’s mantra? “I don’t need to win games. I need to win games and improve.” Translation: “Don’t embarrass me, kids.”
The Humor: Circus Metaphors and Shoelaces
Let’s be real: Oakland’s chances are about as likely as a penguin winning a beach volleyball tournament. Their defense is a sieve, their rebounding is a toddler’s attempt at cleaning up Legos, and their three-point shooting is “if you believe in magic, you’ll believe in this team.”
Michigan State’s defense, though, is a human flywall. They’d stop a hurricane if it dared to score. And their rebounding? So dominant, they probably have a rebound tax on the glass.
As for the spread (-20.5)? It’s like betting on a Ferrari to beat a bicycle in a race—but then the Ferrari driver gets distracted by a squirrel and only wins by 15.
The Parlay: Over 155.5 and Michigan State -20.5
Why it works:
1. Michigan State -20.5: Their defense is elite, and Oakland’s offense is a leaky sprinkler. Even if the Spartans underperform their scoring average, their +15.2 PPG margin should cover the spread.
2. Over 155.5: Oakland’s defense is a sieve (84.4 PPG allowed), and Michigan State’s offense, while mediocre, should exploit it. Combine that with Oakland’s decent offense (84.1 PPG), and the total is likely to crack the over.
Implied probabilities:
- Michigan State -20.5 (decimal odds ~1.91) = ~52.4% implied win probability.
- Over 155.5 (decimal odds ~1.91) = ~52.4% implied probability.
Combined, the parlay has a ~27% chance of hitting—but given the mismatch, it’s a funny underdog bet for the over.
Final Verdict: Bet the Over and the Spread
Michigan State will win, likely by double digits, but the how is where the magic lies. Oakland’s porous defense ensures the game won’t be a snoozer, and the total should flirt with 160 points.
Prediction: Michigan State 82, Oakland 75 (total: 157). Kampe’s curse continues, but the points fly.
Parlay Pick:
- Michigan State -20.5
- Over 155.5
Place your bets, and if you lose, blame it on Greg Kampe’s 41st season of “almost” moments. 🏀
Created: Dec. 20, 2025, 8:21 a.m. GMT