Parlay: Pittsburgh Penguins VS New York Rangers 2025-10-07

Rangers vs. Penguins: A Same-Game Parlay for the Ages
Where NHL Legends Meet… and One Team Hopes to Avoid a 6-0 Rout Again

Parse the Odds: The Math of Misery and Mastery
The New York Rangers (-1.5, -144) are the undisputed favorites here, with implied probabilities suggesting bookmakers think they’ll win ~57% of the time. The Penguins (+1.5, +105) are given a paltry 26% chance to win outright, per the 2.85 odds. Meanwhile, the total goals line hovers around 5.5-6.0, with the Over priced at ~54% implied probability (1.87 decimal odds).

Let’s break this down:
- Rangers’ Edge: They won three of four meetings last season, including a 6-0 humiliation of Pittsburgh in the opener. Igor Shesterkin, their 26-year-old goaltending savant, is the NHL’s version of a locked-and-loaded vault door.
- Penguins’ Weakness: Sidney Crosby, now 38 and playing like a man who’s forgotten how to Google “time travel,” centers a team that scored just 2.66 goals per game last season. Their defense? A sieve that once let the Buffalo Sabres (yes, the Sabres) score four goals in 12 seconds during a 2023 exhibition.

The spread (-1.5) suggests the Rangers should win by at least two goals. Given their 6-0 history, this isn’t a stretch—unless the Penguins finally invent a time machine to borrow Crosby’s prime.

Digest the News: Injuries, Age, and Coaching Drama
The Penguins are dealing with the same old story: Sidney Crosby is still Sidney Crosby, but his legs now resemble overcooked spaghetti. No major injuries are listed, but let’s not forget: the Penguins’ entire offense relies on Crosby, Jake Guentzel (who’s MIA with a “mystery knee injury”), and a power play that ranked 29th in the league last season.

The Rangers? They’re healthy, but their most intriguing subplot is Mike Sullivan returning to face his former team. Sullivan, who won a Cup with Pittsburgh in 2017, now coaches New York like a man who’s seen the future and wants to make sure Pittsburgh doesn’t score.

Humorous Spin: Pucks, Puns, and Parlays
If the Penguins want to win this game, they’ll need to:
1. Invent a time machine to borrow Crosby’s 2010s legs.
2. Hire a magician to make Igor Shesterkin disappear.
3. Bribe the puck to ricochet into Rangers’ net.

Meanwhile, the Rangers are like a well-oiled machine: Shesterkin is the engine, their forward depth is a 12-lane highway, and their power play? A 22% success rate that’s about as reliable as a toaster in a monsoon.

Same-Game Parlay Pick: Why You Should Bet Rangers -1.5 & Over 5.5 Goals
Combine the Rangers’ offensive firepower (3.8 goals per game last season) with the Penguins’ porous defense, and you’ve got a recipe for chaos. The Over 5.5 goals is a smart play, given New York’s history of beating Pittsburgh like a piñata.

Prediction: The Rangers Win, the Penguins Lose, and We All Laugh About It
Final Score Prediction: Rangers 5, Penguins 2
- Why? Shesterkin shuts down Crosby’s attempts to play “Iceman Cometh,” while New York’s forwards outwork Pittsburgh’s “retro” roster. The spread (-1.5) is achievable, and the Over 5.5 goals? Well, the Penguins’ defense might as well be a open door at a fireworks show.

Parlay Odds: Rangers -1.5 (1.44) + Over 5.5 Goals (1.87) = ~2.70 total odds (14% implied probability). For a game where the Rangers are 72% favorites to win, this parlay balances risk and reward like a Zamboni on a dance floor.

Where to Bet: DraftKings offers the best combo (Rangers -1.5 at -144, Over 5.5 at -107). Place your bets before the 8 p.m. ET puck drop, or risk looking as foolish as a Penguin wearing rollerblades.

Go Rangers! Unless you’re a Penguin fan—then, go buy a time machine. 🏒✨

Created: Oct. 7, 2025, 12:37 p.m. GMT