Parlay: Sacramento Kings VS Los Angeles Lakers 2025-10-17

Sacramento Kings vs. Los Angeles Lakers: Preseason Showdown of the "Almost Ready" and the "Still Figuring It Out"

The Sacramento Kings and Los Angeles Lakers are set to clash in their final preseason game, a match that’s less about bragging rights and more about who can forget to pack their A-game first. Let’s break down the numbers, injuries, and absurdities to craft the ultimate same-game parlay.

Parse the Odds: The Lakers Are Here to "Simulate" (Read: Rest Their Stars)
The Lakers are -265 moneyline favorites, which translates to a 72.4% implied probability of winning. Their spread is -6.5, and the total is set at 227.5 points. Meanwhile, the Kings are missing Domantas Sabonis (hamstring), Malik Monk (illness), and Keegan Murray (rest), three players who average a combined 31.3 points, 14.3 rebounds, and 6.3 assists per game. Without them, Sacramento’s offense is like a Wi-Fi router during a blackout—present, but not useful.

The Kings are scoring a paltry 99.3 points per game on 41% shooting, including a cringe-worthy 33% from three. The Lakers, meanwhile, are averaging 112 points per game, shooting 81% from the free-throw line (a skill the Kings have yet to master, apparently), and playing at a brisk 100 possessions per game. Sacramento’s preseason point differential (-13.7) is nearly triple the Lakers’ (-4.2), which says less about L.A.’s dominance and more about Sacramento’s ability to turn every game into a math test.

Digest the News: Injuries, Rest, and the Mysterious Case of LeBron’s Sciatica
The Kings have added Russell Westbrook to bolster their backcourt, but he’ll be playing with a team that’s already lost 4 straight preseason games by an average of 9 points. It’s like giving a chef a new knife but forgetting to teach him how to chop.

On the Lakers’ side, LeBron James is out with sciatica, a condition that sounds like it was invented by a sadist to keep him from playing. Luka Dončić and Austin Reaves are the team’s offensive lifelines, with Reaves shooting a ludicrous 56.8% this preseason. The Lakers’ coach, JJ Redick, plans to “simulate a regular-season game,” which is code for: “We’re resting our stars, but we’ll pretend we’re not.”

Humorous Spin: The Kings Are a Joke, the Lakers Are a Joke, and the Preseason Is a Shared Joke
The Kings’ offense is so inefficient, it makes a dial-up modem look like 5G. Their three-point shooting percentage (33%) is lower than the chance of Sacramento finally winning a playoff series. Without Sabonis, their offense is a Venn diagram of “meh” and “meh-er.”

The Lakers? They’re like a luxury car dealership that’s still figuring out how to parallel park. Their 1-3 preseason record is less concerning than their free-throw shooting—81% is the kind of consistency that makes you wonder if they’re secretly training in a wind tunnel.

Prediction: Lakers Cover the Spread, Under the Total, and Prop Bets That Make Sense
Lakers -6.5 (-110): With Sacramento’s injuries and the Lakers’ superior scoring, covering a modest 6.5-point spread is a near-lock. Even if LeBron sits, Luka and Reaves should outscore the Kings’ depleted roster.

Under 227.5 (-110): The Kings’ porous offense (99.3 PPG) and the Lakers’ defensive focus (they’re prioritizing rest over points) make the Under a safe bet. Preseason games are often low-scoring exhibitions of “meh.”

Same-Game Parlay: Lakers -6.5 AND Under 227.5
- Odds: ~+220 (depending on bookmaker)
- Why It Works: The Lakers’ offensive efficiency and Sacramento’s defensive incompetence create a scenario where L.A. wins comfortably without breaking a sweat.

Bonus Props:
- Luka Dončić Over 25.5 Points: He’s averaging 25 PPG; this is a layup.
- Austin Reaves Over 2.5 Three-Pointers: At 56.8% shooting, he’s a walking prop-bet cash machine.

Final Verdict: The Lakers win 118-106, covering the spread and keeping the total under 227.5. The Kings’ only victory? Making us all question why they’re still using Russell Westbrook as a metaphor for chaos. 🏀✨

Created: Oct. 17, 2025, 7:39 p.m. GMT