Parlay: Wanderley Junior VS Mochamed Machaev 2025-09-13

Same-Game Parlay Breakdown: Arman Tzarukyan vs. Benson Henderson at ACB JJ 18
Where MMA Meets Absurdity in Moscow

Parsing the Odds: A Tale of Two Time Travelers
Let’s start with the basics. Arman Tzarukyan (22-3) is a 21st-century mixed martial arts enigma. Since his last fight in April 2024—a split-decision win over Charles Oliveira, which was like watching a chess match where both players forgot the rules—Tzarukyan has been MIA, vanishing longer than a text from an ex. His withdrawal from a title bout against Islam Makhachev in January raises eyebrows. Was it injury? Boredom? A midlife crisis? We may never know. Still, his 22-3 record is the MMA equivalent of a “Mostly Sunny” weather forecast—occasional drizzle, but nothing to cancel plans for.

Benson Henderson (30-12), meanwhile, is a relic from the Jurassic MMA era. His last fight in March 2023 ended in a first-round submission loss to Usman Nurmagomedov, a defeat so swift it could’ve been a glitch in a video game. Henderson’s career is like a used car: once shiny, now with 12 dents and a suspicious knocking noise. Yet here he is, trying to defy time itself in Moscow.

Digesting the News: Injuries, Comebacks, and Circuses
Tzarukyan’s withdrawal from the Makhachev title bout? A plot twist thicker than a Russian nesting doll. Was it injury? A scheduling snafu? Or did he finally realize that fighting for a title in 2024 is like trying to tweet with a typewriter? No details are given, but let’s assume he’s fresh as a daisy. Henderson’s loss to Nurmagomedov, meanwhile, was so one-sided it makes you wonder if the fight was preordained by a cosmic coin toss. As Habib Nurmagomedov once said about Paul Hughes, “This guy is a pes [dog]—he keeps coming even when you throw rocks at him.” Henderson? He threw a rock and got hit with a boulder.

Humorous Spin: The Absurdity of Combat Sports
Imagine Tzarukyan as a man who just discovered the “undo” button after a long hiatus. “I’ve been perfecting my technique,” he says, while secretly wondering if he still knows how to tie his shoelaces. Henderson is the guy at a family reunion who insists he can still deadlift his nephew, only to realize the kid’s a teenager now.

The event itself? A grappling match in Moscow, where the air is colder than Henderson’s stare and the stakes are higher than Tzarukyan’s motivation to stay active. If this fight were a movie, it’d be titled The Cold Shoulders—part thriller, part cry-for-help.

Prediction: The Verdict from the MMA Oracle
Putting it all together: Tzarukyan’s recent win over Oliveira (however split the decision was) suggests he’s still got the goods. Henderson’s last fight was so惨 it could’ve been a training montage for a documentary on defeat. While Tzarukyan’s inactivity is concerning, it’s better than Henderson’s decade-long hibernation.

Same-Game Parlay Pick: Bet on Tzarukyan to win by decision, with over 2.5 rounds (because let’s not make this a one-sided yawn-fest). For extra spice, add a prop bet on Henderson to throw at least one elbow that misses—because nostalgia deserves a little flair.

Final Verdict: Tzarukyan wins, 29-28. Henderson’s comeback is like a VHS tape in a DVD player—respected, but not built for this era. Unless Henderson pulls a miracle, this fight will be less of a battle and more of a “meh, okay, next slide” moment for fans.

Place your bets, but don’t blame me when Henderson turns back time. Again. 🥊

Created: Sept. 13, 2025, 3:57 p.m. GMT