Parlay: Washington Wizards VS Chicago Bulls 2025-11-22

Chicago Bulls vs. Washington Wizards: A Same-Game Parlay Breakdown
Where the Bulls Roar and the Wizards Trip Over Their Own Shoelaces

Parse the Odds: The Math of Mayhem
The Chicago Bulls (-12.5) are favored like a Thanksgiving turkey at a buffet—unquestioned, unappreciated, and destined to be consumed. With moneyline odds hovering around +114 (decimal: ~1.14), the implied probability of a Bulls win is a staggering 87.7%. Meanwhile, the Wizards (+12.5) are priced at +600, implying they’ll win just 16.7% of the time. If you math that out, it’s like saying the Wizards have a better chance of inventing a time machine and rewriting their 1-14 record than winning this game.

The total is set at 244.5 points, with the over priced at ~1.91 (decimal) and the under at ~1.95. Given the Bulls average 119.7 PPG (despite playing defense like a sieve) and the Wizards allow 130.0 PPG (the NBA’s version of a open-fire sprinkler system), the over is as inevitable as taxes in April.

Digest the News: Injuries and Existential Crises
Chicago’s Zach Collins (wrist) and Coby White (calf) are listed as day-to-day, which is sports code for “they’ll play if they can figure out how to tie their shoes.” Washington’s Marvin Bagley III (hip) and Alex Sarr (toe) are similarly “day-to-day,” which for the Wizards might as well mean “permanently unavailable.”

The Wizards’ 13-game losing streak is so long it’s eligible for its own Wikipedia page. They’ve lost all 10 Eastern Conference games and 11 of 12 by 10+ points. Their field goal percentage (45.9%) is worse than a toddler’s aim at a trash can. The Bulls? They’re 3-1 in close games, with DeMar DeRozan (if he’s even on the team—checks notes) and co. shooting 46.9% against. It’s like comparing a luxury yacht to a canoe made of spaghetti.

Humorous Spin: The Absurdity of Hope
The Wizards’ best chance to win is if the Bulls’ starters all suddenly develop a collective fear of the number 13 and quit mid-game. Even then, the backup Bulls would probably outscore them. Imagine the Wizards’ strategy: “Let’s shoot 45% and hope the Bulls’ stars have an existential crisis!” It’s the NBA’s version of a snowplow trying to clear a blizzard by blowing leaves.

The Bulls’ 3-point shooting (14.7 made per game) is just 0.1 better than what the Wizards allow. That’s the basketball equivalent of a sloth finally deciding to move 0.1 inches forward. And yet, here we are—Chicago is a double-digit favorite because, in this universe, 14.7 is a number worth celebrating.

Prediction: The Parlay Playbook
For the same-game parlay, pair Chicago -12.5 with the Over 244.5. Why?
1. Bulls -12.5: The Wizards’ defense is a sieve with a sieve (they allow 130 PPG). Even if the Bulls shoot like they’re at a carnival, they’ll likely win by the spread.
2. Over 244.5: The Bulls average 119.7 PPG; the Wizards allow 130.0. Combined, that’s 249.7, which is 5.2 points above the total. Even if both teams underperform, the over is as safe as a squirrel in a tree.

Final Verdict: Bet the Bulls to cover and the game to go over. The Wizards’ only hope is if CJ McCollum starts juggling threes like a circus act—and even then, the Bulls’ Josh Giddey would probably steal the show by passing to himself.

TL;DR: Bulls win by a bunch, the game’s a scoring fest, and the Wizards’ chances are about as real as a “free money” email. Parlay the over and the spread, and cash in on Washington’s inevitable faceplant.

Created: Nov. 23, 2025, 12:33 a.m. GMT