Prediction: Arkansas-Pine Bluff Golden Lions VS UIC Flames 2025-12-03

UIC Flames vs. Arkansas-Pine Bluff Golden Lions: A Statistical Carnage with a Side of Sarcasm
December 3, 2025 — Credit Union 1 Arena

The UIC Flames (4-3) and Arkansas-Pine Bluff Golden Lions (0-8) meet in a matchup so lopsided, it’s like watching a toddler arm-wrestle a professional wrestler. UIC is favored by 18.5 points, a spread so vast, it could fit an entire bench of Golden Lions players in the gap. Let’s unpack why this game is already written in statistical ink—and why UAPB’s “underdog” label might as well come with a side of popcorn for the inevitable collapse.

Parsing the Odds: Why UIC is the Human Version of a “Do Not Park Here” Sign
UIC’s +51 scoring differential is a college basketball version of a “This Way to Survive the Game” map. They average 81 points per game (129th in the nation) and allow 73.7 (190th), which is like having a leaky faucet in a desert—better than nothing, but not great. Arkansas-Pine Bluff, meanwhile, is a leaky dam in a monsoon. They score 69.3 points (318th) and allow a staggering 98.1 (365th), resulting in a -231 differential. To put that in perspective, UAPB’s defense is so porous, they’d let a toddler with a Nerf basketball score 20 points in a scrimmage.

The over/under is set at 163.5 points, but both teams average just 150.3 combined. Yet, opponents have outperformed totals by 8.3 points this season—probably because UAPB’s opponents treat the game like a personal scoring contest. UIC’s 154.7 average is 8.8 points below the total, meaning this game could end with fans checking their watches, wondering if they missed the second half.

Key Players: Stars or Supporting Roles in a Tragedy?
UIC’s Ahmad Henderson II (16.6 PPG) is the team’s golden goose, while Mekhi Lowery (9.1 PPG, 6.6 RPG) is the guy who always “finds the ball” during crunch time—usually by tripping someone. Arkansas-Pine Bluff’s Jaquan Scott (15.9 PPG) is their lone bright spot, but even his 7 RPG can’t offset the fact that UAPB loses the rebound battle by 11.1 per game. Imagine Scott as a lone lifeguard trying to save swimmers in a tsunami—heroic, but statistically doomed.

The News: UAPB’s “Miracle on Main Street” Remains Unwritten
Recent headlines about UAPB read like a sports版 of The Onion. Their 84-111 loss to Miami (OH) was so one-sided, the Golden Lions’ coach reportedly considered substituting the team’s mascot—a lion named “Reggie”—for a fourth quarter. UAPB’s three-point shooting (27.9%, 339th) is worse than a blindfolded toddler shooting free throws, and they allow 11.5 threes per game. If basketball had a “Most Likely to Get Traded for a Pizza” award, UAPB’s defense would win it hands down.

UIC, meanwhile, has the consistency of a coffee shop barista: sometimes you get a latte art masterpiece, other times you get a lukewarm puddle. Their 2-4 ATS record suggests they’re the sports equivalent of a “meh” emoji—competent but forgettable.

The Verdict: UIC Wins, Unless Physics Intervene
The Flames’ +18.5 spread is as inevitable as taxes and March Madness bracket upsets (but less fun). UAPB’s only hope is if UIC’s star players collectively decide to moonlight as professional bowlers mid-game. Statistically, UIC’s +51 differential and UAPB’s -231 make this a mismatch even Nikola Pashalis (basketball’s version of a spreadsheet wizard) couldn’t fix.

Final Prediction: UIC Flames 81, Arkansas-Pine Bluff Golden Lions 59.5. The only thing more certain than the score? That UAPB’s fans will need a bigger mop for the post-game cleanup.

Place your bets, but keep your sympathy—for UAPB, this is just another Tuesday. 🏀

Created: Dec. 3, 2025, 12:42 p.m. GMT

Pikkit - Sports Betting Tracker, Odds, Insights & Analysis.