Prediction: Army Knights VS Fairleigh Dickinson Knights 2025-11-26

Army Black Knights vs. Fairleigh Dickinson Knights: A Tale of Two Teams with More Losses Than a Divorce Court

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for a clash of college basketball’s most resilient underdogs—or is that underogs? The Army Black Knights (1-6) and Fairleigh Dickinson Knights (1-5) are set to collide in Teaneck, New Jersey, where the only thing more porous than FDU’s defense is the hope of either team escaping their losing skids. Let’s break this down with the statistical precision of a spreadsheet and the humor of a halftime stand-up special.

Parsing the Odds: A Math Class You’ll Actually Enjoy
The numbers scream louder than a coach’s pregame speech. Fairleigh Dickinson is the favorite (-3.5) with a moneyline of roughly 61% implied probability (thanks to decimal odds of ~1.57), while Army sits at +2.45 (~29% chance). The total is set at 152-153.5 points, which is about as high as the ceiling in FDU’s Bogota Savings Bank Center.

Here’s the rub: Army scores 66.4 points per game, which is 16.1 points fewer than FDU allows. That’s like showing up to a buffet and realizing the only item is a “mystery meat casserole.” Meanwhile, FDU’s offense cranks out 72.8 points, but their defense? A sieve that would make a Swiss cheese wheel blush. They’re giving up 82.5 points per game, the kind of defense that’d let a toddler score if they were holding the ball.

Army’s rebounding edge (30.6 RPG vs. FDU’s unlisted but presumably lower number) is their lone bright spot. Tate Laczkowski’s 5.7 boards per game could be the difference, assuming he doesn’t trip over his own shoelaces—unlike a certain star striker from a previous example who did.

Digesting the News: Injuries, Comebacks, and UCF’s Unrelated Comeback
Both teams are fresh off losses to East Texas A&M, with Army getting drilled 84-67 and FDU scraping to a 70-65 defeat. Army’s Kevin McCarthy led with 12 points, which is about as effective as a screen in a telethon. FDU’s Joey Niesman dropped 17, but his team still lost—proof that you can’t outscore a defense that’s playing four-on-five.

Meanwhile, UCF pulled off a 102-91 comeback win over Quinnipiac, scoring 100+ points for the first time since April. But let’s not get distracted—this is a different team, and their success is as relevant to this matchup as a lifejacket in a desert.

The Humor Section: Because Sports Needs Laughs
Army’s road struggles are legendary. They’ve lost all three road games this season, which is about as successful as a vegan at a barbecue contest. Their road résumé includes a 67-point performance against East Texas A&M—while still losing. If Army’s offense were a toaster, it’d be the one that shocks you instead of toasting.

FDU’s defense? A work of art in its own right. They allow 82.5 points per game, which is impressive if your goal is to set a record for “Most Points Allowed While Still Losing.” Their three-point defense is even worse—opponents are nailing 34.6% of threes against them. If FDU’s defense were a net, it’d be the one you’d use to catch smoke.

Prediction: Who’s Less Bad?
This game is less about who will win and more about who will lose less badly. But if we must pick a winner: Fairleigh Dickinson edges Army at home. Their offense (72.8 PPG) should outpace Army’s anemic 66.4, and their -58 scoring differential is better than Army’s -102. Plus, home-court advantage is real—unless you’re Army, whose road record is worse than a GPS that only works in reverse.

Final Score Prediction: Fairleigh Dickinson 78, Army 72.

But hey, if Army pulls off the upset, remember: “They didn’t win the game, they just borrowed the points.” Now go bet responsibly—or don’t, because neither of these teams is a sure thing.

Created: Nov. 26, 2025, 3:47 p.m. GMT

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