Prediction: Army Knights VS Fairleigh Dickinson Knights 2025-11-26
Army Black Knights vs. Fairleigh Dickinson Knights: A Tale of Two Teams with More Losses Than a Divorce Court
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for a clash of college basketballâs most resilient underdogsâor is that underogs? The Army Black Knights (1-6) and Fairleigh Dickinson Knights (1-5) are set to collide in Teaneck, New Jersey, where the only thing more porous than FDUâs defense is the hope of either team escaping their losing skids. Letâs break this down with the statistical precision of a spreadsheet and the humor of a halftime stand-up special.
Parsing the Odds: A Math Class Youâll Actually Enjoy
The numbers scream louder than a coachâs pregame speech. Fairleigh Dickinson is the favorite (-3.5) with a moneyline of roughly 61% implied probability (thanks to decimal odds of ~1.57), while Army sits at +2.45 (~29% chance). The total is set at 152-153.5 points, which is about as high as the ceiling in FDUâs Bogota Savings Bank Center.
Hereâs the rub: Army scores 66.4 points per game, which is 16.1 points fewer than FDU allows. Thatâs like showing up to a buffet and realizing the only item is a âmystery meat casserole.â Meanwhile, FDUâs offense cranks out 72.8 points, but their defense? A sieve that would make a Swiss cheese wheel blush. Theyâre giving up 82.5 points per game, the kind of defense thatâd let a toddler score if they were holding the ball.
Armyâs rebounding edge (30.6 RPG vs. FDUâs unlisted but presumably lower number) is their lone bright spot. Tate Laczkowskiâs 5.7 boards per game could be the difference, assuming he doesnât trip over his own shoelacesâunlike a certain star striker from a previous example who did.
Digesting the News: Injuries, Comebacks, and UCFâs Unrelated Comeback
Both teams are fresh off losses to East Texas A&M, with Army getting drilled 84-67 and FDU scraping to a 70-65 defeat. Armyâs Kevin McCarthy led with 12 points, which is about as effective as a screen in a telethon. FDUâs Joey Niesman dropped 17, but his team still lostâproof that you canât outscore a defense thatâs playing four-on-five.
Meanwhile, UCF pulled off a 102-91 comeback win over Quinnipiac, scoring 100+ points for the first time since April. But letâs not get distractedâthis is a different team, and their success is as relevant to this matchup as a lifejacket in a desert.
The Humor Section: Because Sports Needs Laughs
Armyâs road struggles are legendary. Theyâve lost all three road games this season, which is about as successful as a vegan at a barbecue contest. Their road rĂ©sumĂ© includes a 67-point performance against East Texas A&Mâwhile still losing. If Armyâs offense were a toaster, itâd be the one that shocks you instead of toasting.
FDUâs defense? A work of art in its own right. They allow 82.5 points per game, which is impressive if your goal is to set a record for âMost Points Allowed While Still Losing.â Their three-point defense is even worseâopponents are nailing 34.6% of threes against them. If FDUâs defense were a net, itâd be the one youâd use to catch smoke.
Prediction: Whoâs Less Bad?
This game is less about who will win and more about who will lose less badly. But if we must pick a winner: Fairleigh Dickinson edges Army at home. Their offense (72.8 PPG) should outpace Armyâs anemic 66.4, and their -58 scoring differential is better than Armyâs -102. Plus, home-court advantage is realâunless youâre Army, whose road record is worse than a GPS that only works in reverse.
Final Score Prediction: Fairleigh Dickinson 78, Army 72.
But hey, if Army pulls off the upset, remember: âThey didnât win the game, they just borrowed the points.â Now go bet responsiblyâor donât, because neither of these teams is a sure thing.
Created: Nov. 26, 2025, 3:47 p.m. GMT