Prediction: Buffalo Bulls VS Bucknell Bison 2025-11-26
Buffalo Bulls vs. Bucknell Bison: A Statistical Slaughter or a Close Call?
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for a basketball smackdown where the Buffalo Bulls (6-0) strut into Cypress Lake like they own the placeâwhich, statistically, they might. Facing the Bucknell Bison (2-5), this non-conference clash is less of a contest and more of a math problem. Letâs break it down with the precision of a point guard reading a zone defense and the humor of a comedian roasting a bad layup.
Parsing the Odds: Buffaloâs Case for âWeâre Not Even Tryingâ
Buffalo isnât just winning; theyâre embarrassing the concept of losing. The Bulls lead the MAC in scoring (81.0 PPG) while shooting a scorching 46.9% from the field. For context, Bucknellâs 39.7% FG is about as effective as a sieve at a bakery. Buffaloâs opponents average 45.8% shooting, meaning Bucknellâs defense is roughly 6.1% worse than a team that just gives up and starts cheering for the other side.
Three-pointers? Buffalo makes 8.2 per game, which is 1.4 fewer than Bucknell allows. Itâs like the Bisonâs perimeter defense was designed by a toddler with a love for open nets. And letâs not forget Buffaloâs star power: Daniel Freitag (20.3 PPG) and Ryan Sabol (15.2 PPG) are the offensive equivalents of a two-lane highway with a âSpeed Limit: 100â sign.
Bucknellâs saving grace? Their 1-1 record when winning the turnover battle. Too bad they average 13.9 turnovers per gameâthe basketball equivalent of a juggling act where all the objects are lit on fire. If Buffaloâs defense (ranked 8th in the nation in scoring defense) can force a few more mistakes, this could be a laugher.
The News: Bison, Youâre on Thin Ice
Bucknellâs recent performance reads like a broken printer: inconsistent and slightly concerning. Their key players, Amon Dorries (15.0 PPG) and Ruot Bijiek (1.8 3PM), are competent but not competent enough to scare Buffalo. Meanwhile, Buffaloâs roster has the depth of a swimming pool and the health of a vegan gym influencerâno major injuries, no drama, just a machine gun of three-pointers and mid-range bombs.
Buffaloâs betting line? A -3.5-point favorite, with decimal odds hovering around 1.44-1.46 (implied probability: ~57-58%). Bucknellâs +2.8 to +2.85 odds (implied ~27-28%) suggest bookmakers view this as a âBison will try but failâ scenario. The over/under sits at 146.5-147.5 points, which feels low given Buffaloâs offensive fireworks and Bucknellâs defensive ineptitude. If youâre betting, the over is a no-brainerâunless youâve never seen a team score 81 points.
Humor: The Absurdity of It All
Buffaloâs offense is like a Michelin-starred chef cooking a five-course meal, while Bucknellâs defense is a toddler trying to âhelpâ by throwing spaghetti at the wallsâand somehow still losing the battle. The Bisonâs turnover problem? Imagine carrying a bowl of soup through a earthquake. Youâre not just dropping it; youâre creating a flood.
And letâs address the elephant in the room: Buffaloâs 6-0 start isnât luck. Itâs the sports universeâs way of saying, âHey, this team is good. Like, really good.â Bucknell, meanwhile, is the sports universeâs way of saying, âWhat if we took an average team and gave them a motivational speaker who only says âehâ?â
Prediction: Buffalo Wins, Probably by Double Digits
Buffaloâs efficiency, star power, and Bucknellâs porous defense make this a mismatch. The Bullsâ 46.9% FG is 1.1% better than the average NBA team, and theyâre facing a Bison squad that shoots like a team that practices during a hurricane. Unless Bucknellâs âclutch geneâ suddenly activates (spoiler: it wonât), Buffalo should win by ~12-15 points, covering the 3.5-point spread with ease.
Final Verdict: Bet Buffalo (-5.5) and laugh all the way to the bank. Bucknellâs best bet? Praying Buffaloâs players start arguing over credit for the win. Even then, the Bulls would probably win the argument.
Go Bulls. Or, as Bucknellâs players are probably whispering: âPlease, just let us practice defense.â đđ„
Created: Nov. 26, 2025, 4:34 p.m. GMT