Prediction: Chicago Bears VS Philadelphia Eagles 2025-11-28
Eagles vs. Bears: A Black Friday Feud Where the Turkey is Roasted (Literally and on the Field)
The Philadelphia Eagles, fresh off a 21-0 lead collapse against the Cowboys, are like a Thanksgiving pie thatâs been microwaved one too many timesâstill edible, but not exactly Instagram-worthy. The Chicago Bears, meanwhile, are the scrappy underdogs of the NFC, channeling the spirit of a Black Friday shopper whoâs camped outside a store since dawn, ready to pounce on a $500 TV for $50. Letâs break this down with the precision of a quarterback threading a needle through a defenderâs fingers.
Parsing the Odds: A Tale of Two Title Hopes
The Eagles (-7, 1.28 decimal) are the chalk here, with implied probabilities hovering around 77% to win. Thatâs the statistical equivalent of betting on the sun to rise tomorrowâif the sun had a 2022 MVP quarterback and a defense thatâs been tighter than a turkeyâs waddle. The Bears (+3.6) carry a 25% implied chance, which is about the same odds of me correctly predicting the outcome of a coin flip while blindfolded and juggling Thanksgiving leftovers.
The total is set at 44.5 points, suggesting a moderate shootout. But given the Eaglesâ defense (8th in points allowed at 20.5 PPG) and the Bearsâ run-heavy attack, this game might play out more like a chess match than a fireworks show.
News Digest: Saquonâs Struggles, Jordanâs Revenge, and Calebâs Clutch
Eaglesâ Offense: A Soggy Oreo
Saquon Barkley, the leagueâs 2024 rushing king, is averaging a pedestrian 62 yards per game in 2025. His 10-carry, 22-yard performance against Dallas? A fumble that would make a toddlerâs sandcastle crumble. The blame? An offensive line thatâs become a quagmireâliterally. Theyâre allowing 111+ rushing yards to opposing backs, which is like letting your kid eat the entire candy bowl and then complaining about a sugar crash.
Bearsâ Backfield: The Vengeful Ex
Chicagoâs rushing attack, led by Khalil Herbert and rookie Kyle Monangai, is a menace. But the real story is Jordan Howard, the former Eagle returning to Philly like a disgruntled ex whoâs brought a lawyer, a therapist, and a 220-pound body check. The Bearsâ 4-game winning streak? A testament to Caleb Williamsâ 16-td, 4-int efficiency and coach Ben Johnsonâs knack for last-second heroics. Think of them as the NFLâs version of a âHail Maryâ passâmessy, but occasionally magical.
Eaglesâ Defense: The Human Firewall
Vic Fangioâs unit is a fortress, allowing just 20.5 PPG. Theyâll need to contain the Bearsâ run game, but their Week 12 performance (stifling 111 yards against Javonte Williams and Malik Davis) suggests theyâve got the moves of a Thanksgiving guest whoâs seen every episode of Queer Eye and knows exactly how to baste a turkey.
Humorous Spin: Turkey Day Tomfoolery
The Eaglesâ offense? Itâs like a Thanksgiving dinner where the gravy is lukewarm, the mashed potatoes are lumpy, and the turkey is⌠well, this game. The Bearsâ rushing attack is a toddler on a tricycle, barreling toward the finish line with the determination of a man whoâs found a $20 bill in his couch. And Jordan Howard? Heâs the guest who forgot their wine but remembered to roast the host.
Prediction: The Eagles Stuff the Turkey, Bears Get Thanked
The Eaglesâ defense will suffocate the Bearsâ run game, and if Jalen Hurts avoids the turnover bug (heâs fumbled 3 times in his last 2 games), Phillyâs 7-point spread should hold. The Bearsâ reliance on last-second heroics? Thatâs a recipe for a 4th-quarter heart attack, not a victory.
Final Score Prediction: Eagles 24, Bears 17.
Bet the Eagles (-7) unless youâre a masochist who enjoys watching teams squander 21-0 leads. And remember, Black Friday is about dealsâunlike the Bearsâ âauthenticâ 8-3 record, which smells more like a clearance rack find. đŚđ
Created: Nov. 26, 2025, 10:05 p.m. GMT