Prediction: Chicago Cubs VS Milwaukee Brewers 2025-10-04
Chicago Cubs vs. Milwaukee Brewers NLDS Game 1: A Suburban Showdown
The 2025 NLDS kicks off with a clash of Chicago’s North Side and Milwaukee’s “suburban” pride, as the Cubs and Brewers prepare to battle at American Family Field. Let’s break down the numbers, news, and why this game feels like a family argument over who actually invented bratwurst.
Parsing the Odds: The Math of Mayhem
The Brewers are the clear favorite here, with implied probabilities hovering around 62% (decimal odds of ~1.64), while the Cubs sit at 42%. That 20% gap isn’t just a statistical quirk—it’s the difference between a team that earned its postseason birth and one that accidentally packed a suitcase. The Brewers’ regular-season dominance over the Cubs (7-6 head-to-head) adds salt to the wound, especially since six of those wins came at Wrigley Field, where the Cubs’ outfielders apparently still forget how to throw a baseball without it bouncing off a lamppost.
The total line is set at 7.5 runs, with slightly shorter odds on the under. Given the Brewers’ MLB-second-best team ERA (3.59) and the Cubs’ stingiest WHIP (1.178), this series might be less “fireworks” and more “a group of accountants arguing over tax codes.” But hey, at least there’ll be fewer home runs than a toddler’s tantrum.
News Digest: Injuries, Rest, and the Ghost of Craig Counsell
The Brewers are a team of survivors. Despite losing Corbin Burnes (traded to the void of regret), Josh Hader (now a professional sigh), and Willy Adames (who’s probably still figuring out how to play shortstop without his phone), they somehow became the best team in MLB. Their secret? A bullpen that’s part circus act, part NASA engineer—Brice Turang and Christian Yelich swing like they’re paid by the home run, and Freddy Peralta’s 2.70 ERA makes him the anti-iceberg: you don’t collide with him, he collides with you.
The Cubs? They’re the baseball equivalent of a last-minute Airbnb host—“Surprise, we have a bed, kind of.” Their starting rotation is a rotating door of Colin Rea (“I’ve seen this pitch before… in a dream”), Matthew Boyd (“Let me warm up… with a thermos”), and Shota Imanaga (“I’ll pretend to be a pitcher”). Oh, and Cade Horton’s status is as clear as a text from an ex: “Maybe Game 5? Maybe never. Maybe a hologram.”
But don’t count the Cubs out! Their offense hit 223 home runs this season—proof that even a broken clock is right twice a game. Kyle Tucker and Nico Hoerner are the MLB’s version of a “good luck charm,” and Pete Crow-Armstrong’s 31 HRs make him the closest thing to a human wrecking ball with a college degree.
Humor: The Absurdity of It All
Let’s be real: the Brewers are just Chicago’s little brother showing off. Milwaukee’s a “suburb,” sure, but they’ve got more playoff swagger than a man in a speedo at a pool party. Their 97-win season? A hobby. The Cubs’ Wild Card victory over the Padres? A fluke that probably involved a rigged dice roll and a goat sacrifice.
And let’s not forget Craig Counsell, now a Cub, facing his old team like a man who changed his Facebook relationship status to “it’s complicated.” Does he root for his former squad? Does he even remember how to root? We may never know.
The Brewers’ pitching staff, meanwhile, is so deep, they could form a conga line and still have enough relievers to host a Jeopardy tournament. The Cubs’ rotation? It’s like a group of interns given a chainsaw and told to “design a bridge.”
Prediction: The Final Whistle
The Brewers win Game 1. Why? Because Freddy Peralta is a 6’5” human exclamation mark, because Milwaukee’s bullpen is the reason why Craig Counsell left in the first place, and because the Cubs’ starting pitchers look like they’re still waiting for the real game to start.
The Cubs’ best hope? Hope Freddy Peralta trips over his own spikes and serves up a grand slam to Seiya Suzuki, who’s basically a robot programmed to hit HRs. But unless that happens (and history says it won’t), the Brewers take this game like a kid takes the last cookie—with the confidence of someone who’s been eyeing it since breakfast.
Final Score Prediction: Brewers 4, Cubs 2.
Now go root for the underdog… or just root for the team that’s actually good. Your call.
Created: Oct. 3, 2025, 10:13 p.m. GMT