Prediction: Chicago White Sox VS Pittsburgh Pirates 2025-07-20
Chicago White Sox vs. Pittsburgh Pirates: A Tale of Two Offenses (and a Pitcher Named Houser Who’s Not “Housing” Wins for Pittsburgh)
Let’s cut to the chase: This game is like a mismatched tug-of-war. On one side, the Chicago White Sox drag their 33-65 record into PNC Park, armed with an offense that could power a small city (332 runs scored, 28th in MLB). On the other, the Pittsburgh Pirates, baseball’s version of a team that only hits singles and hopes for a stolen base, average a meager 3.4 runs per game. Yet the Pirates are favored? Welcome to the 2025 MLB season, where logic takes a backseat to hope and a starting pitcher named Mike Burrows, whose 4.83 ERA suggests he’s more of a “burden” than a “burrow.”
Parse the Odds: A Math Class You’ll Actually Enjoy
The Pirates are listed at -134 on the moneyline, implying a 57.1% implied probability to win. The White Sox, at +234, have a 30.3% implied chance—a gap so wide it could fit Adrian Houser’s ERA (1.56) and still have room to spare. But here’s where things get spicy: Houser, the White Sox’s starter, is a statistical titan. Over 56⅔ innings, he’s allowed just 1.56 runs per game, sporting a four-game quality start streak that’s looking more like a “quality escape plan” for his team.
Meanwhile, Burrows (1-3, 4.83 ERA) is the definition of a “pitcher who needs a pitcher.” Opponents hit .245 against him this season, which is… fine? If you’re a math teacher grading on a curve. The problem? Burrows is facing a Chicago offense that’s scored more runs than the entire Pirates roster in 2025.
Digest the News: Burrows, Houser, and the Great Run Scoring Schism
No major injuries to report, but let’s unpack the subtext. The Pirates’ offense is so anemic, their “power hitters” probably dream in singles. They’ve scored fewer runs than a Little League team that’s been using a teletubbies-sized bat. Conversely, the White Sox have mustered 332 runs—a number so absurd it makes you wonder if they’ve been playing in a video game where “touching the ball” counts as a run.
As for the starters? Houser is on a mission to prove that a 1.56 ERA isn’t just a typo. Burrows, meanwhile, is attempting to pitch five innings without it raining in Pittsburgh. (Spoiler: It won’t rain. Pittsburgh’s humidity is a different kind of nightmare.)
Humorous Spin: Because Baseball Needs More Laughs
The Pirates’ offense is like a vegan at a steakhouse—present, but not in a helpful way. They’re so low-scoring, their fans probably keep scorecards just to hear the sound of pencil on paper. Burrows, meanwhile, is the human equivalent of a “meh” emoji. His ERA (4.83) is so average, it’s the baseball version of a “filler” episode of The Office.
Then there’s Houser, the White Sox’s secret weapon. With a 1.56 ERA, he’s basically the sport’s version of a “cheat code.” If this were a video game, he’d be the guy who beats the final boss with a paperclip. And let’s not forget the White Sox’s offense, which could outscore the Pirates even if the game were played in a blizzard and the Pirates had to use their hands tied behind their backs.
Prediction: The Underdog Who’s Not Really an Underdog
Here’s the rub: The Pirates are favored, but their offense is so feeble that even a 1.5-run game feels like a rout. Meanwhile, Houser is a cyborg in a pitcher’s body, and the White Sox have more offensive pop than a Pittsburgh hot dog at a fireworks show.
Final Verdict: Bet on the Chicago White Sox to pull the upset. Houser’s ERA is elite, the Pirates’ lineup is a cosmic joke, and the implied probabilities are lying in a ditch somewhere. The Pirates’ “favored” status is like a toddler claiming they’re a professional wrestler—charming, but not exactly a bet you want to take seriously.
Final Score Prediction: Chicago White Sox 4, Pittsburgh Pirates 2. Because sometimes, the best way to win is to not be the team that scores 3.4 runs.
Created: July 19, 2025, 8:46 p.m. GMT