Prediction: Colgate Raiders VS Michigan St Spartans 2025-11-03
Michigan State vs. Colgate: A Lopsided Overture to the Season
By Your Humorously Unshakable Handicapper
Parse the Odds: The Math of a One-Sided Affair
Let’s start with the numbers because, frankly, Colgate’s chances are about as likely as a snowball in a Spartan sweatshirt. Michigan State is listed at a -20.5 spread, with moneyline odds so lopsided (FanDuel has them at +1.01, translating to a 99% implied probability) that even the Breslin Center’s janitor is probably drafting a betting slip. Colgate, meanwhile, is priced at +21.0, which means bookmakers would pay you $21 for every $1 bet if the Raiders somehow pull off a miracle. For context, that’s the same odds as betting your pet goldfish will solve quantum physics during halftime.
ESPN Analytics isn’t mincing words either, giving MSU a 96.9% chance to win. If you’re a fan of underdogs, this game is the basketball equivalent of betting on gravity—sure, it’s technically possible to defy it, but you’ll need a physics degree and a suspension of disbelief.
Digest the News: MSU’s Rebuilding Project vs. Colgate’s Desperation Play
Michigan State enters as a program in transition. They’ve lost key backcourt players like Jase Richardson (NBA) and Jaden Akins (G-League), but their returning core—led by Jeremy Fears Jr. and Coen Carr—should anchor a team hungry to defend its Big Ten title. The Spartans’ strength? Rebounding. With a 6’9” center in Sam Wright (Colgate’s lone big man) and a frontcourt that thrives in the paint, MSU’s physicality will test Colgate’s paper-thin interior defense.
Colgate, under coach Matt Langel (241-203 career record, or “15 seasons of very close calls”), is a mid-major with a flair for three-pointers but a defense that leaks like a sieve. Last season, they allowed the most points per game in the Patriot League, which is basketball’s version of leaving your front door unlocked during a hurricane. Their hope rests on junior guard Jalen Cox (11.9 PPG), but even he can’t outscore a team that gets outrebounded by 8.2 boards per game. Oh, and their projected lineup? Four guards and a center. It’s like building a house with four nails and hoping the roof doesn’t blow away.
Humorous Spin: When Physics and Hubris Collide
Let’s be real: This game is less of a basketball match and more of a physics experiment. Colgate’s defense is a sieve that couldn’t hold water in a desert. Their perimeter shooters? A flickering candle in a tornado. Michigan State, on the other hand, is a bulldozer with a college ID.
Picture this: Jalen Cox, Colgate’s star guard, launching a three-pointer while MSU’s Carson Cooper looms like a skyscraper. The ball arcs… and thunk—it’s deflected by a hand the size of a catcher’s mitt. Sam Wright, Colgate’s lone big man, tries to hold his ground against MSU’s frontcourt, but it’s like a toddler trying to block a sumo wrestler. The only thing Colgate’s coaching staff can do is pray Langel’s “tough, disciplined play” mantra translates to something resembling a game plan.
Prediction: A Cakewalk for the Spartans
Unless Michigan State’s starters take a sudden vow of basketball celibacy, this game is a coroner’s report waiting to happen. The Spartans’ dominance in the paint, combined with Colgate’s porous defense, sets up a 146.5-point over/under that’s as exciting as a spreadsheet. Bet the Under if you want a nap, or the Over if you enjoy watching a team hemorrhage points.
Final Verdict: Michigan State 89, Colgate 62. The only thing Colgate will take home is a reminder that mid-majors shouldn’t challenge power conferences in a game of “Who Can Lose More Gracefully.”
Place your bets, but maybe leave a small portion of your bankroll for emergencies… like therapy after watching this blowout. 🏀💥
Created: Nov. 3, 2025, 9:29 a.m. GMT