Prediction: Dallas Wings VS Seattle Storm 2025-07-22
Dallas Wings vs. Seattle Storm: A Tale of Two Teams (and Why the Odds Are About as Surprising as a Non-CBA-Related Uprisings in the WNBA)
Let’s start with the cold, hard math. The odds make this as clear as a 4-point shot attempt in the WNBA All-Star Game: Seattle Storm is the favorite, with implied probabilities suggesting they’re roughly 82% to close the deal, while Dallas Wings hover around 23%. For context, Dallas’ chances of winning are about the same as me correctly spelling “Napheesa Collier” without looking it up twice. The spread (-9.5 for Seattle) implies the Storm should win by nearly a touchdown (American football touch… okay, touchdown in basketball terms means a lot), and the total is set at 165.5 points, which is basically a math problem asking “What’s 36 (Collier’s All-Star points) times 4.6?”
Now, let’s unpack why Seattle is the statistical favorite. Napheesa Collier, the human embodiment of “Why yes, I can drop 36 points in an All-Star Game,” is a beast. Her ability to dominate the paint—combined with Skylar Diggins’ triple-double in the same game—makes Seattle look like a luxury suite at a basketball match: well-rounded, efficient, and not tripping over its own shoelaces (unlike Paige Bueckers’ All-Star performance, which included a 2/6 field goal showing that even all-stars can shoot like they’re playing a virtual reality game on the highest difficulty).
But wait! Dallas has Paige Bueckers, the No. 1 overall pick, right? True. But Bueckers’ All-Star stat line (6 points, 8 assists) was like a vegan at a BBQ—present, but not exactly the main event. The Wings’ 6-17 record also screams “work in progress,” which is a fancy way of saying “we’re hoping Bueckers’ future Hall of Fame career doesn’t involve too many last-second airballs.” Meanwhile, Seattle’s players wore “Pay Us What You Owe Us” T-shirts during warmups—a reminder that they’re motivated not just by basketball, but by the existential need for fair pay. Let’s be real: nothing focuses a team like the threat of having to keep doing interviews with reporters who ask, “So, what’s your real income?”
Here’s the kicker: Dallas’ offense without Bueckers is like a toaster in a bakery—present, but useless. Bueckers is injured? No. Just underwhelming. Her 6-point All-Star game was the basketball equivalent of a standing ovation for a magician who only does card tricks. Seattle, meanwhile, has Collier, who’s scored more points in one All-Star game than Dallas’ entire team does in a typical loss. And let’s not forget Skylar Diggins, the human equivalent of a Swiss Army knife—except instead of tools, she’s got 11 points, 11 rebounds, and 15 assists.
The Humor Interlude: If this game were a rom-com, Dallas would be the underdog who learns to win by accidentaly dating the local coffee shop barista (who also happens to be injured 50% of the time). Seattle? They’re the rom-com villain who’s actually really nice, has a perfect résumé, and also secretly funds a labor union for their coffee. Also, Bueckers and Azzi Fudd’s relationship is adorable, but let’s be real: their love story is the NBA’s version of “will they ship, won’t they score?”—right now, it’s more “will they win, won’t they not?”
Prediction: Seattle Storm in a rout. The math says so, the All-Star performances say so, and the CBA protests say “Hey, we’re mad enough to play like demons.” Dallas might as well be betting on a squirrel to beat a Greyhound—in theory, possible, but in practice, no. Unless Bueckers suddenly invents a way to turn assists into points (and also time-travels to fix her shoe laces), this game is Seattle’s to lose.
Final Score Prediction: Seattle Storm 95, Dallas Wings 80. Because math, labor rights, and Napheesa Collier’s ability to make basketball look like a video game on “EASY” mode.
Created: July 21, 2025, 2:18 a.m. GMT