Prediction: Duquesne Dukes VS Akron Zips 2025-09-20

Akron Zips vs. Duquesne Dukes: A Game Where the Spread is Bigger Than the Dukes’ Hope

Parse the Odds
Let’s cut to the chase: Akron is the NFL’s favorite and the bookmakers’ favorite. The Zips are listed at decimal odds of 1.31 (implying a 76.3% implied win probability) across multiple books, while Duquesne languishes at 3.55 (a 28.2% chance to pull off the shocker). The spread? A brutal -9.5 points for Akron, meaning they’re expected to win by double digits. Even the over/under of 51.5 points suggests this could be a shootout—though Duquesne’s offense might need a forklift to match Akron’s scoring potential.

Digest the News
Unfortunately for the Dukes, their “news” section reads like a sports comedy of errors. While no official injury reports were provided (thanks to the void that is college football’s public relations department), we can safely assume Duquesne’s defense is functioning about as well as a screen door on a submarine. Meanwhile, Akron’s offense? They’re out here playing Mario Football on “God Mode”—scoring touchdowns with the precision of a laser-guided espresso shot.

Ah, but let’s add some flair! Suppose Akron’s star quarterback, Ty Conatser, has been “practicing his deep-ball accuracy by launching footballs into a lake to scare ducks.” And Duquesne’s head coach? Let’s say he’s “so confused by the playbook, he tried to call a timeout during a timeout.” College football, where the drama is written in chalk.

Humorous Spin
Akron’s offense is so potent, they could score points while playing jazz on a unicycle. The Dukes, meanwhile, are like a deflated whoopee cushion—present, but offering zero impact. The spread of -9.5? That’s basically the sportsbooks saying, “Even if Akron’s entire team got stuck in a porta-potty before kickoff, they’d still win by 10.”

And let’s talk about that total of 51.5 points. If this game hits the over, it’ll be because a fan sneezed so hard into the end zone that the referees counted it as a safety. If it hits the under? Well, maybe a flock of geese will swarm the field and eat both teams’ lunch.

Prediction
Akron Zips to win by 12 (or until the clock runs out, whichever comes first). The math doesn’t lie: 76% implied probability isn’t just a number—it’s a gentleman’s bet. Duquesne could theoretically pull off the upset, but only if Akron’s players collectively decide to moonlight as professional bowlers mid-game.

Before you place your bets (and hey, use that BetMGM promo code TSN150—because why not turn a $10 bet into a $150 bonus?), remember: college football is full of surprises. But unless Conatser starts throwing touchdowns to a man in a squirrel costume on the sideline, Akron’s winning this one.

Final Score Prediction: Akron 42, Duquesne 28. The Dukes will score exactly one point off a missed extra point. You’re welcome. 🏈

Created: Sept. 20, 2025, 2:52 p.m. GMT

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