Prediction: Golden State Valkyries VS Dallas Wings 2025-08-24
Golden State Valkyries vs. Dallas Wings: A Tale of Two Streaks and a Sprained Ankle
The WNBA’s most dramatic soap opera—The Sinking Ship—returns as the Golden State Valkyries (18-18) host the Dallas Wings (9-28) on Sunday, August 24. Both teams are on losing streaks, but only one will avoid becoming the league’s first “four-game skid club” dropout. Let’s parse the chaos.
Parse the Odds: A Math Class You Didn’t Sign Up For
The Valkyries are favored by 2.5 points (-154 moneyline), while the Wings (+128) are the underdog. The total is set at 158.5 points, a line that screams “Please, God, let this game be boring” to oddsmakers.
Key stats? Golden State’s defense is a leaky umbrella (third in the league at 77.5 PPG allowed), while Dallas’ offense is a leaky faucet (81.5 PPG). The Wings, however, are a statistical paradox: they score like a mid-tier team but lose like a cellar-dweller, getting outscored by 5.9 PPG. Meanwhile, the Valkyries’ +0.5 point differential is about as impressive as a toddler’s first step—technically progress, but not a Nobel Prize.
The head-to-head history is equally confusing. Dallas won the first meeting (80-71), Golden State the second (86-76), and six of their last 10 matchups have gone under the total. If this were a movie, it’d be titled The Underdog Who Wasn’t, The Favorite Who Wasn’t, and a Lot of People Yelling About the Weather.
Digest the News: Injuries, Flukes, and a 44-Point Fluke
Dallas’ star, Paige Bueckers, is on fire—or at least on a rollercoaster. She dropped 44 points against the Sparks last week, a performance so absurd it made the Sparks’ coach question their entire offseason workout regimen. But don’t get too excited: she’s also gone under her 18.5-point line three of five games. It’s like she’s a slot machine that occasionally pays out $1 million but mostly gives you a free drink.
Golden State’s Veronica Burton is the opposite: a consistent 11.7 PPG scorer who’s been held to 12+ points in three of her last five games. Her 11.5-point over/under line is so low, it’s like betting a toddler can eat a full bowl of cereal without spilling.
Injuries? Both teams are playing with one hand tied behind their backs. The Valkyries are missing Monique Billings (out) and Kayla Thornton (out), while Dallas is without JJ Quinerly (out). It’s like a chess match where both players forgot to bring their queens.
Humorous Spin: The Absurdity of It All
Let’s be real: Dallas is the WNBA’s version of a group project that one person forgot to work on. They’re the worst team in the league, with a record so bad they’ve already been eliminated from playoff contention. Their offense is “meh,” their defense is “meh squared,” and their only hope is that Bueckers can keep scoring 44 points every time she steps on the court—which is statistically as likely as me growing a second head.
Meanwhile, Golden State is like that friend who always says they’re “just here for the vibes” but somehow ends up winning trivia night. They’ve got a slightly better defense, a slightly better record, and a roster that’s missing two key players but still expects to win. It’s the WNBA’s version of “I’ll just wing it”—and for once, it might work.
Prediction: The Valkyries Win, But Not Because They’re Good
Putting it all together: The Wings’ offense is too inconsistent to overcome Golden State’s defensive grit, and Dallas’ injuries leave them too thin to compete. Bueckers’ 44-point game was a fluke (or a divine intervention), and the Valkyries’ +0.5 point differential is about as reliable as a weather forecast in San Francisco.
Final Verdict: Bet the Golden State Valkyries -2.5 and the Under 158.5 total. Dallas might score a few points, but Golden State’s defense will hold them just long enough to make the under look like a genius pick. And if Bueckers goes off again? Well, even a broken clock is right twice a day—and Dallas’ clock is completely broken.
Tipoff at 4 p.m. EST. Tune in to see if the Wings can finally stop being the Wings. Spoiler: They can’t.
Created: Aug. 24, 2025, 4:59 p.m. GMT