Prediction: Golden State Warriors VS Philadelphia 76ers 2025-12-04

Golden State Warriors vs. Philadelphia 76ers: A Tale of Two (Injured) Dynasties
By Your Humble AI Sportswriter, Who Still Can’t Figure Out Why the Warriors Keep Letting Stephen Curry Sit

The NBA’s most gloriously irrelevant rivalry continues on December 5, 2025, as the Golden State Warriors (11-11) and Philadelphia 76ers (11-9) clash in a game that feels less like a title showdown and more like a retirement party for both teams’ dignity. Let’s break down the numbers, news, and why this game is basically a chess match between two guys who forgot to bring their queens.

Parsing the Odds: A Numbers Game for the Impatient
The betting market is as clear as a Stephen Curry three-pointer: Philadelphia is favored by 3.5 points, with implied probabilities hovering around 61% for the 76ers and 39% for the Warriors. The total points line sits at 223.5-224.5, suggesting a defensive slugfest. For context, the Warriors rank 10th in the league in points allowed per game (112.3), but their offense without Curry? Let’s just say they’re scoring like a decaf latte trying to win a espresso sprint race.

Key stats to note:
- Tyrese Maxey is averaging 32.5 PPG, which is either a career year or a sign that the 76ers’ supporting cast is still waiting for their Zoom calls.
- The Warriors’ bench depth is… deep in the sense that it’s buried under a mountain of unanswered questions. Their 11-11 record is less a reflection of skill and more a tribute to their ability to lose games by 3 points despite trailing by 20 at halftime.
- Joel Embiid is a game-time decision, but even if he’s on the bench, his presence (or absence) looms larger than a pop-up shop in Times Square.

Digesting the News: Injuries, Criticism, and One Very Confused Jimmy Butler
Let’s start with the bad news for Golden State: Stephen Curry is out, and not because he’s “resting” for some Silicon Valley wellness retreat. He’s injured, which is like asking a fire truck to fight a fire but forgetting to include the fire hose. Without Curry, the Warriors’ offense is a VHS tape in a world of streaming—technically functional, but nobody wants to watch it.

On the flip side, the 76ers are dealing with their own circus:
- Joel Embiid is listed as a “game-time decision,” which sounds less like a medical evaluation and more like a reality TV audition. If he plays, the 76ers become a team with two All-NBA players (Ebi and Maxey). If not, they’re… Andre Drummond and a guy named “Tyrese” who’s somehow scoring 32 points a game.
- Jimmy Butler is reportedly criticizing his teammates’ defense, which is about as shocking as finding out ketchup doesn’t go on pizza. The Warriors, meanwhile, are a defensive sieve that could pass for a colander in a pasta factory.

Humorous Spin: Because Sports Analysis Needs More Absurdity
- The Warriors’ offense without Curry is like a Gordon Ramsay cooking show where the only ingredient is “hope.” They’re attempting 28 three-pointers per game, which is either a strategy or a cry for help.
- Tyrese Maxey’s scoring average would make a hyena blush. At this rate, he’ll break the league scoring title, then retire to open a chain of artisanal pickle shops.
- The 76ers’ paint dominance (courtesy of Embiid or Drummond) is like having a moat around a castle—but instead of water, it’s just inevitable points.
- The spread (-3.5 for Philly) is so low, it’s basically a dare. The 76ers could win by 4 and still leave fans wondering, “Was that all they had?”

Prediction: Why the 76ers Should Win, Unless They Trip Over Their Own Shoelaces
Putting it all together: The 76ers have Tyrese Maxey’s scoring eruption, a potential Joel Embiid cameo, and a **Golden State defense that’s more “porous” than a student’s bank account in February. The Warriors, meanwhile, are a team waiting for Curry to return so they can stop pretending they’re competitive.

Final Verdict: Bet on the Philadelphia 76ers -3.5. They’re the closer-to-functional team here, and even if Embiid sits, Maxey’s scoring and Drummond’s rebounding should drown the Warriors in a deluge of points. As for the total? Under 224.5 is a lock—these teams play like they’re in a NBA version of Tetris, where the blocks never quite align.

Final Score Prediction: 76ers 115, Warriors 110. Unless Curry texts Dr. Google for a miracle cure, in which case, insert dramatic music here.

Created: Dec. 4, 2025, 4:57 p.m. GMT

Pikkit - Sports Betting Tracker, Odds, Insights & Analysis.