Prediction: Green Bay Phoenix VS Iona Gaels 2025-11-24
Iona Gaels vs. Green Bay Phoenix: A Statistical Circus with a Clear Ringmaster
Let’s cut to the chase: The Iona Gaels are the Harlem Globetrotters of this matchup, and the Green Bay Phoenix? Well, they’re the team that accidentally brought a piñata to a chess match. With Iona’s 5-1 non-conference start and Green Bay’s 2-5 stumble, this isn’t just a game—it’s a masterclass in why you never bet on a team that shoots worse than a blindfolded toddler at a carnival.
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The numbers scream Iona’s dominance. They average 86.2 points per game (84th nationally) while allowing a bloated 80.7 (299th). Green Bay? They score 68.9 (323rd) and let opponents torch them for 77.1 (254th). The Gaels’ +33 scoring differential is like Green Bay’s -58 in a footrace—no contest.
On the three-point front, Iona splashes 10.3 threes per game (56th), outpacing Green Bay’s paltry 6.6 (280th). The Phoenix shoot a meager 31.6% from deep (Marcus Hall’s 31.6% is a career highlight, not a typo), while Iona’s 30.5% (145th) is about as reliable as a toaster in a monsoon. But here’s the kicker: Iona’s CJ Anthony is a human highlight reel, dishing out 6.2 assists per game while scoring 16.3 points. He’s the Mike Tyson of point guards—except instead of punches, he’s no-look passes.
The moneyline? Iona is a -263 favorite (implied probability ~72.3%), while Green Bay’s +240 (27.7%) is about as appealing as a participation trophy. The spread (-5.5 for Iona) is generous, considering they outscore opponents by 10.8 points per game. The total is 151.5, which feels low given Iona’s offensive fireworks and Green Bay’s porous defense. Bet the over unless you’re a masochist who enjoys watching teams shoot 43% and still lose by 20.
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Iona’s last game was a laugher—a 29-point drubbing of Davidson, led by Zoey Ward’s 21 points. Green Bay’s most recent win? A 79-75 thriller against UMass, where Justin Allen dropped 27 points… and 5 turnovers. The Phoenix average 10 turnovers per game, which is like carrying a lit fuse into a fireworks factory.
Meanwhile, Wagner’s upcoming game against Iona is a separate tragedy. The Seahawks shoot 17.1% from three (363rd in college basketball) and allow 7.0 threes per game. If Wagner’s offense were a pizza, it’d be a “plain cheese” slice that forgot the cheese.
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Green Bay’s defense is so leaky, they’d let a whisper score 30 points. Their 43.3% field goal percentage allowed is about as effective as a screen door in a hurricane. And their turnover problem? It’s like watching a toddler guard a buffet—everyone gets seconds.
CJ Anthony, meanwhile, is the reason Iona’s offense hums. With 15.3 assists per game, he’s the NBA’s Chris Paul… if Chris Paul suddenly shrank to college size and started passing to a team that shoots 47%. Toby Harris (11.7 PPG) is the “second fiddle” here, but even he’s better than Green Bay’s entire roster combined.
Prediction: The Gaels Take Flight (Literally)
This is a one-way ticket for Iona. Their offensive firepower, coupled with Green Bay’s defensive incompetence, makes this a statistical inevitability. The Gaels’ 5.5-point spread is a gift, not a challenge.
Final Verdict: Bet the Iona Gaels (-5.5) and the over 151.5. Unless you enjoy watching Green Bay turn the ball over like it’s a job interview, this is a rout waiting to happen. The Phoenix may have wings, but Iona’s got a jet engine.
Game on, bookies. The math doesn’t lie—and neither does CJ Anthony’s assist-to-turnover ratio. 🏀🔥
Created: Nov. 24, 2025, 7:28 p.m. GMT