Prediction: Howard Bison VS Drexel Dragons 2025-12-16

Howard Bison vs. Drexel Dragons: A Rebounding Rumble with a Side of Sarcasm

The Howard Bison (7-5) and Drexel Dragons (4-6) are set for a holiday-weekend showdown that’s less “March Madness” and more “December Doldrums with a Hopeful Twist.” Let’s break this down with the precision of a stat head and the humor of a guy who once bet on a team named the “Cleveland Browns” (a mistake that haunts me like a bad tattoo).

Parse the Odds: Numbers Don’t Lie (Mostly)
- Drexel is favored by 5.5-6.5 points, per the odds boards. That implies a 60-65% implied probability of a Drexel win. But Howard’s +59 scoring differential (76.4 PPG vs. 71.5 PPA) dwarfs Drexel’s meager +4. That’s like comparing a loaded cannon to a water gun.
- Rebounding is a dumpster fire for Howard, who ranks 253rd nationally in rebounding (31.6 RPG). Drexel outrebounds opponents by 6.3 boards per game—imagine having a vacuum cleaner on the court while Howard’s squad tries to catch confetti with a colander.
- Three-point shooting? Howard is a 33.9% team (289th), while Drexel connects on 7.7 threes per game (198th). If Howard’s shooters were in a contest, they’d lose to a blindfolded toddler with a toy bow.

Digest the News: Injuries, Trends, and Shenanigans
- Howard’s Road Struggles: The Bison are 0-3 on the road this season, including a 61-57 squeaker against Hampton. Their road record is about as reliable as a Wi-Fi connection in a basement.
- Drexel’s Home Cookin’: The Dragons are 3-1 at home, averaging 77.8 PPG in Philadelphia. Their last loss at Daskalakis? A 69-64 defeat to La Salle. Garfield Turner led that game with 12 points—proof that even heroes need a little help (or a better bench).
- Key Players:
- Bryce Harris (Howard): 16.6 PPG, the team’s lone offensive spark. If he’s on fire, Howard’s a pick’em. If he’s ice-cold? They’re a +15 underdog.
- Shane Blakeney (Drexel): 14.3 PPG and 5.2 RPG. He’s the team’s Swiss Army knife—though he’d probably need a bigger knife to fix Drexel’s porous offense (299th in scoring).

Humorous Spin: Because Sports Analysis Needs More Absurdity
Howard’s rebounding woes are so legendary, they’ve inspired urban legends. Rumor has it their players practice grabbing rebounds with velcro mitts and a prayer. Meanwhile, Drexel’s frontcourt could win a game of Hoops Jenga—they’d just stack opponents like blocks and never let them fall.

The over/under is 137.5 points, but SportsLine’s model thinks we’re looking at 146. That’s like ordering a “small” pizza and getting a medium instead—suddenly, everyone’s happy. If the over hits, credit Howard’s offense (20.5 PPG from Harris) and Drexel’s defense (132nd in points allowed). It’s a recipe for a shootout, unless Drexel’s rebounding crew starts teleporting to the glass.

Prediction: The Final Whistle
Drexel’s home-court advantage, rebounding dominance, and Howard’s road jinx make the Dragons the slightly safer bet. But here’s the twist: Howard’s +59 scoring differential is unreal. If Bryce Harris drops 20+ and Drexel’s offense continues to sputter like a car with a clogged fuel line, Howard could cover the spread and make this a nail-biter.

Final Verdict: Drexel by 7, but only because Howard’s rebounding is about as effective as a sieve. Bet the over—because 146 points sounds like a party, and these teams could turn Daskalakis into a hoops-themed carnival.

“If you’re not in the mood for chaos, maybe skip this one. But if you’re here for the spectacle, grab popcorn and pray someone remembers how to rebound.”

Created: Dec. 16, 2025, 3:40 p.m. GMT

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