Prediction: Kansas City Royals VS Chicago Cubs 2025-07-21
Chicago Cubs vs. Kansas City Royals: A Tale of Power vs. Perseverance
By Your Humble Sportswriter, Who Still Can’t Hit a Curveball
Parse the Odds: Numbers Don’t Lie (Mostly)
The Chicago Cubs (-135) are the clear favorites here, and the math checks out. Their implied win probability of ~57% aligns with their 70.1% success rate when favored this season. Meanwhile, the Royals (+220) have a 31%-45% implied chance, which feels about right for a team that scores like a toddler with a juice box—343 total runs this year (29th in MLB).
Offensively, the Cubs are a nuclear reactor: 148 home runs, 5.3 runs per game, and a .447 slugging percentage that makes Wrigley Field feel like a fireworks show. The Royals? They’re more of a campfire—warm, flickering, and unlikely to roast anything. Their pitching staff, though, is a fortress with a 3.49 ERA (second in MLB), while the Cubs’ 3.80 ERA makes them a slightly leaky umbrella in a drizzle.
Digest the News: Hot Streaks, Cold Batting Aisles
The Royals are banking on Salvador Pérez, who’s homered in two straight games. Let’s hope it’s not a case of “buy one, get one free” because that’s how baseball slumps start. The Cubs, meanwhile, have Kyle Tucker, Pete Crow-Armstrong, and Seiya Suzuki—three hitters who could open a sushi restaurant called Suzuki, Tucker, and Roll.
The Royals’ underdog magic (28 wins in 61 underdog games) is admirable, but their offense is about as reliable as a toaster in a bakery. Bobby Witt Jr. might be a star, but even he can’t outshine a lineup that’s hitting .243 as a team (28th in MLB). The Cubs? They’re the buffet at a family reunion—plenty of hits, homers, and no one asking, “Is that still here?”
Humorous Spin: Baseball as a Reality Show
Imagine the Royals’ offense as a reality TV contestant: they’ve got heart, they’re trying their best, but the judges keep handing them a “You’re Eliminated” card. Their pitching staff? The lone All-Star in the group, throwing a fit like, “Why isn’t anyone hitting? I’m ready to go home!”
The Cubs, meanwhile, are the obnoxious but talented cousin at Thanksgiving who steals the turkey, eats it, and then roasts it on Instagram. Their lineup is so good, even the wind in Wrigley Field is scared to blow out their home runs. As for Ryan Brasier vs. Noah Cameron? It’s like watching a chess match between a grandmaster (Brasier) and someone who still uses “Pawn Storm” as their strategy (Cameron).
Prediction: The House Always Wins (Especially the Cubs’)
While the Royals’ pitching could keep this game close, their offense is a car with a flat tire, a dead battery, and a GPS that says “Recalculating.” The Cubs’ bats? They’re a convoy of semi-trucks barreling toward a bridge the Royals didn’t build.
Final Verdict: Bet on the Cubs (-1.5) to cover the spread and win outright. The Royals might as well bring a dictionary to this game—they’ll be looking up the word “upset” for the 343rd time this season.
“The Cubs hit home runs so hard, the Royals’ ERA might file a restraining order.”
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Final Score Prediction: Cubs 6, Royals 3. Because math, and also Seiya Suzuki’s swing.
Created: July 21, 2025, 3:20 p.m. GMT