Prediction: Las Vegas Raiders VS Seattle Seahawks 2025-08-07
Seattle Seahawks vs. Las Vegas Raiders Preseason Showdown: A Tale of Two Backup QBs
The Seattle Seahawks and Las Vegas Raiders are set to collide in a preseason skirmish that promises the excitement of a WWE tryout and the strategic depth of a chess match⌠if the chess pieces were all named âDrewâ or âJalen.â Letâs break down the numbers, news, and why this game might be best watched through a sleep-deprived haze.
Parsing the Odds: A Numbers Game for the Faint of Heart
The Seahawks are favored by 1.5 points across most books, with decimal odds hovering around 1.87-1.95 (implying a 53-54% implied probability of victory). The Raiders, meanwhile, sit at 1.95-2.10 odds, translating to a 48-52% chance to lose, which is about what their starters have a chance of surviving a Seattle practice. The total points line is locked at 35.5-36, suggesting a game where touchdowns are as rare as a Raidersâ win in prime time.
Why the modest spread? Simple: Neither team is playing their starters. Seattleâs Sam Darnold will be sipping Gatorade on the sidelines, while Las Vegasâ Derek Carr will be busy Googling âhow to fake a hamstring injury.â The real QBs of interest? The Seahawksâ Drew Lock (a backup with the charisma of a soggy pretzel) and the Raidersâ mystery rookie (letâs assume theyâve unearthed a QB named âKenâ from the G League).
Team News: Injuries, Blue Angels, and a Coach Who Hates Surprises
The Seahawksâ injury report reads like a grocery list for a first-aid convention. A.J. Finley, a defensive back who once tackled a mailman in a scrimmage, is out with a knee injury sustained while colliding with a camp star named Dareke Young. Coach Mike Macdonaldâs reaction? âWe didnât feel positive about it.â Translation: Weâre keeping this a secret until we figure out how to pronounce his MRI results.
On the bright side, Seattleâs offense is led by Drew Lock, whoâs here to âhonor the processâ and probably throw a pick-six. The defense? Well, rookie Nick Emmanwori is âa fun player to coach,â per Macdonald, which is NFL code for heâll either intercept a pass or become a human jukebox for Raiders ball carriers.
The Raiders, meanwhile, are a team of unknowns. Their only headline? A preseason opener thatâs essentially a dress rehearsal for their September opener⌠against the same Seahawks. Las Vegasâ best hope? Praying Seattleâs backups decide to moonlight as a jazz band mid-game.
The Humor: Because Football Is Just Chess with Helmets
Letâs face it: This game is a backup QB duel between a man named Drew (Lock) and a man named Ken (probably). If the Seahawksâ defense is as leaky as their 2023 red-zone stats, theyâll let the Raiders score like theyâre playing Whac-A-Mole with a touchdown button. But the Raidersâ offense? Itâs like ordering a five-star meal and getting a napkin.
The Blue Angelsâ mid-practice flyby? Macdonaldâs responseââSam was like, âWas that you?âââis the NFL equivalent of a dad joke. And letâs not forget the Seahawksâ offensive line, which is being asked to protect Jalen Milroe while new OC Klint Kubiak yells, âJust trust the process!â Itâs like watching a toddler build a skyscraper.
Prediction: Why the Seahawks Will Win⌠Probably
Despite the chaos, the Seahawks edge out the Raiders 17-14. Hereâs why:
1. Depth Chart Superiority: Even their backups have NFL experience. Drew Lock isnât Patrick Mahomes, but heâs less likely to throw a pick-six than Las Vegasâ mystery QB.
2. Defensive Grit: Nick Emmanwori will make a highlight-reel tackle, and the Raidersâ offense will resemble a game of Operation where everyone keeps touching the buzzer.
3. Spread Logic: At -1.5, Seattleâs margin of victory hinges on a field goal or a Raiders fumble caused by confusion over the playbook.
Take the Seahawks -1.5 and the under 35.5. Why? Because when your starters are watching from the couch, the only thing more predictable than the score is the number of times players will trip over their own cleats.
Final Verdict: The Seahawks win by a nose, the Raiders win the âMost Likely to Disappear in Septemberâ award, and weâre all left wondering why the Blue Angels didnât just play the game for us. Game on, folksânow go hydrate. đ
Created: Aug. 4, 2025, 4:53 a.m. GMT