Prediction: Levante VS Alavés 2025-08-16
Alavés vs. Levante: A Preseason Power Struggle Where the Odds Are (Mostly) in Alavés’ Favor
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for a La Liga clash that’s less epic and more “who let the temporary intern start the coffee machine?” Deportivo Alavés and Levante meet on August 16, and while the odds favor Alavés, this isn’t a cakewalk—it’s more like a bakery where the cake is slightly overproofed and the walk is a steep hill. Let’s break it down.
Parsing the Odds: The Math of Misery and Mayhem
The bookmakers are throwing their weight behind Alavés, with decimal odds hovering around 2.10-2.15 (implying a 46-47% implied probability of victory). Levante sits at 3.30-3.40 (29-30%), and the draw? A tidy 2.90-3.20 (31-34%). For context, these numbers are like a well-timed tiki-taka pass—smooth, calculated, and slightly pretentious.
The spreads are equally tight: Alavés is a -0.25 favorite, meaning they’re expected to win or draw, while Levante is +0.25, offering a slight cushion for bettors hoping for a moral victory. The total goals line is set at 2.0, with even money on over/under. In other words, this game could end like a stalemate at a cheese-tasting—delicious but uneventful—or explode into a La Tomatina of chaos.
Digesting the News: Mariano, the Preseason Hero, and Levante’s “Mystery Meat” Defense
Alavés’ preseason has been the stuff of temporary worker nightmares. An unsigned trainee named Mariano—think of him as the “contractor who fixes your Wi-Fi and then demands a promotion”—scored both goals in their 2-1 win over Castellón. That’s the sports equivalent of your cousin who “helps” you move, then beats your high score on Call of Duty. Coach Coudet is gushing about “spirit and determination,” which translates to: “We’re not paying these players enough to lose to a team that plays in Castellón.”
Levante, meanwhile, is a mystery. Their preseason isn’t detailed here, but their defensive record last season was worse than a sieve left in a monsoon. If their backline is still as leaky as a paella pot left on high heat, Alavés’ attacking “intern” Mariano might just stick around for a permanent contract.
Humorous Spin: The Absurdity of Preseason Logic
Let’s be real: Alavés’ victory over Castellón was less a football match and more a Sesame Street lesson in goal-scoring. Mariano, the unsigned wonderkid, probably scored because Castellón’s defenders were too busy arguing over who forgot to charge their phones. As for Levante, their best hope is that Alavés’ starting XI includes Lander Pinillos, the guy who scored their only preseason goal… against Athletic. That’s the footballing equivalent of betting on a roulette wheel because it landed on red once in 2019.
Prediction: Alavés Wins, Unless Mariano Quits Mid-Match for a Better Offer
Putting it all together: Alavés has momentum, Levante has questions, and the odds reflect a game where the underdog’s best move is to hope for a last-minute own goal (or a Mariano-style meltdown).
Final Verdict: Bet on Alavés to win 1-0, because Levante’s defense is still figuring out how to tie their boots, and Mariano will either sign a contract or demand a raise. If you back Levante, at least do it with the confidence of someone who once bet $5 on a cricket match and won.
“It was a great day,” said Coudet. It was also a great day for Mariano’s agent. Now go forth and bet wisely—or at least bet with the enthusiasm of a man who finally found his remote control. 🎉⚽
Created: July 26, 2025, 2:44 p.m. GMT