Prediction: Melbourne United VS New Orleans Pelicans 2025-10-03
Pelicans vs. Melbourne United: A David vs. Goliath Showdown with a Side of Dunks
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for the first NBA game in Australian historyâa clash of continents, where the New Orleans Pelicans, fresh off a 21-61 season that could make a funeral planner weep, take on Melbourne United, an NBL team thatâs basically the âBâ list of Australian basketball. The odds? Pelicans are favored at -20.5 on the spread, with implied win probabilities north of 97% (per decimal odds of 1.03). Thatâs like betting on gravity: sure, itâs a law of nature, but youâll still write the bookie a thank-you note when they hand you the check.
Parsing the Odds: Why the Pelicans Are the NBAâs Version of a âFree Throwâ
Letâs crunch the numbers. The Pelicansâ -20.5 spread implies theyâre expected to win by over 20 points, a line that screams âpreseason tune-upâ louder than Zion Williamsonâs post-game interviews. For context, Melbourne Unitedâthe NBLâs answer to a solid college teamâis facing an opponent with Zion Williamson, Jordan Poole, and Herb Jones, all of whom could benchpress the entire Melbourne roster if basketball rules allowed. The total is set at 216.5 points, a number so high it could make a WNBA game blush. Preseason games are typically low-scoring exhibitions, but with the Pelicansâ explosive offense and Melbourneâs presumably porous defense (theyâre not exactly stopping Zionâs highlight-reel dunks), this could be a shootout.
News Digest: Pelicans Bring âA+â Energy, Melbourne Brings âAâ Effort
The Pelicans are reloaded, retooled, and ready to rebound from their 21-61 disaster. Zion Williamson, the human missile who once dunked on a kangaroo in a video game (okay, not real, but it should be), is back in full health. Jordan Poole, coming off his best season, is here to prove heâs not just a âTwitter All-Star.â And letâs not forget Kevon Looney, the 7-foot human eraser whoâll clean up whatever Melbourneâs big men try to accomplish.
Melbourne United? Theyâre the underdogs, plain and simple. The NBL is a fantastic league, but itâs not the NBA. Their roster includes talented players like Chris Goulding and Jordan Baker, but theyâre facing a team with three All-Stars and two lottery picks (Jeremiah Fears and Derik Queen, though the latter is injured). Melbourneâs best hope? Pray Zion trips over his own shoelaces⌠again. (Spoiler: He wonât.)
Humor Injection: Kangaroos, Dunks, and the Time Zone Blues
Letâs be real: This game is as mismatched as a koala trying to play cricket against a kangaroo on Red Bull. The Pelicans are flying 14 hours ahead of New Orleans time, which means theyâll probably nap during the 14-hour flight, then nap again during warmups. Melbourne? Theyâll play with heart, hustle, and the hope that someone in the crowd tosses them a free pizza.
And letâs not forget the cultural significance: This is the first NBA game in Australia, a land where basketball is beloved but still fighting for supremacy against rugby and cricket. Imagine the hype! Itâs like if the NBA played a preseason game in a Minecraft serverânovelty, excitement, and a 99.9% chance the home team loses.
Prediction: Pelicans Win, but Letâs Make It Fun
In all seriousness, the Pelicans should win this by 25+ points, assuming they donât treat it like a scrimmage against their G League team. Zion will dominate inside, Poole will pepper threes, and Melbourne will go home with a story to tell their kids (and maybe a few highlight-reel blocks to post on Instagram).
Final Verdict: Bet the Pelicans at -20.5. If youâre feeling spicy, take the Over 216.5âthis game will be a track meet. As for Melbourne? Theyâll be the NBAâs version of a practice dummy, but hey, at least theyâll make history. Just donât expect them to win unless youâve got a time machine and a very confused kangaroo on your side.
âI donât expect anybody to move out of the wayââZion Williamson, probably not referring to Melbourneâs defense.
Created: Oct. 3, 2025, 8:19 a.m. GMT