Prediction: Merrimack Warriors VS Tarleton State Texans 2025-11-11
Tarleton State vs. Merrimack: A Tale of Three-Pointers and Home-Court Hysteria
Ladies and gentlemen, gather āround for a basketball clash thatās about as balanced as a tightrope walker on a trampoline. Tarleton State (1-2), the home-team heroes of Stephenville, Texas, host the Merrimack Warriors (0-2) on Tuesday, November 11, 2025, in a game thatās as much about math as it is about mid-range jumpers. Letās break it down with the precision of a coachās whiteboard and the humor of a player explaining why they missed a layup.
The Odds: A Numbers Game
Tarleton State is favored by 4.5 points (-4.5 spread), with moneyline odds hovering around -1100 to -1200 (decimal: ~1.44-1.49). That translates to an implied probability of ~70% for the Texans, while Merrimackās long shot at +275 to +285 (decimal: ~2.7-2.85) implies a ~26-28% chance. The total is set at 141-142 points, with the under slightly more likely due to Tarletonās defensive grit (more on that later).
Why the spread? Tarletonās 10-3 home record last season and Merrimackās 3-13 road mark tell a story of a team thatās as comfortable on the road as a penguin in a desert. Plus, Tarletonās recent 85-77 win over Texas A&M-CC, fueled by Dior Johnsonās 32-point eruption, shows they can score with the best of them.
The Stats: Three-Pointers and Heartburn
Tarleton State shoots 43.2% from the field and 32.2% from three, which isnāt elite but is solid enough to keep games interesting. Their home court? A fortress. Last season, opponents shot 35.1% against them, which is like trying to hit a moving target while riding a unicycle.
Merrimack, meanwhile, is a paradox. They averaged 24 three-pointers per game last season but converted them at a 28.1% clip. Thatās the basketball equivalent of ordering a pizza and hoping it arrives hot. Their 65.6 PPG average is anemic, and their 9-8 road record suggests they thrive in chaosā¦ which, letās be honest, is most of their games.
The News: Injuries, Circuses, and One Very Dedicated Floor
No major injuries are listed for Tarleton, but Merrimackās recent history is a rollercoaster. The Warriors lost to High Point 81-73, where their 28.1% three-point shooting looked less like a strategy and more like a cry for help. Last season, they went 18-15 overall, which is one win shy of a āmeh, okayā season.
As for Tarleton? Their lone blemish is a 1-2 start, but letās not dwell on that. Dior Johnson is the real deal, and if heās scoring 32 again, Merrimackās defense might as well pack up and go home.
The Humor: Basketball as a Series of Absurd Analogies
Merrimackās three-point strategy is like ordering 24 slices of pizza but only eating six. You technically ordered food, but also, why? Tarletonās home court, meanwhile, plays defense like a Texas tornado on a missionāunpredictable, relentless, and likely to leave you drenched in sweat and regret.
And letās not forget Merrimackās road struggles. If they played in an actual circus, the crowd would probably boo them just to hear themselves cheer.
The Prediction: A Foregone Conclusion?
While nothing in sports is certain (ask the 2024 UCLA Bruins, whoāre still figuring out if basketball is a sport or a metaphor), Tarleton Stateās home-court advantage, superior efficiency, and Merrimackās three-point delusions make this a near-lock. The Texans should win by 8-10 points, comfortably covering the -4.5 spread.
Final Score Prediction: Tarleton State 78, Merrimack 70.
Why? Because math says so. Because history says so. And because Merrimackās three-pointers will fall like autumn leaves in a hurricane. Unless, of course, you enjoy chaos. Then bet on an upsetā¦ and a very confused sportsbook.
Tip-off at 8 p.m. EST. Bring popcorn. Bring hope. But mostly, bring a calculator. š
Created: Nov. 11, 2025, 6:35 p.m. GMT