Prediction: New Orleans Pelicans VS Chicago Bulls 2025-12-14

Pelicans vs. Bulls: A Tale of Two Sieves (With a Side of Hope)

The New Orleans Pelicans and Chicago Bulls are set to clash in a holiday-weekend spectacle that promises the excitement of a leaky faucet race: neither team can stop water (or points), but someone’s got to drip faster. Let’s break this down with the statistical rigor of a caffeinated stat geek and the humor of a comedian trapped in a NBA Twitter thread.

Parsing the Odds: Why the Bulls Are the “Less Bad” Bet
The Chicago Bulls are favored at -150 odds (60% implied probability) and -4.5 points on the spread, while the Pelicans (+250, 40% implied) are the desperate underdogs. On paper, this looks like a “pick ‘em” between two teams that play defense like they’re auditioning for a “How Not to Guard Anyone” reality show.

Defensive Disasters: The Pelicans allow 126.3 PPG (think: a floodgate in a hurricane) and have a -4.3 point differential, while the Bulls are slightly better at 123.9 PPG allowed (-11.6 differential). Both teams’ defenses are like a sieve in a bakery—points just keep falling through.
- Pelicans’ Road Struggles: New Orleans is a dismal 1-9 on the road, scoring a paltry 106.9 PPG away from the friendly confines of their arena. They’re also missing Zion Williamson (hamstring, “injured” in NBA-speak for “MIA, probably partying in Cabo”). Without Zion, their offense is a one-legged man in a pogo stick contest.
- Bulls’ Home Cookin’: Chicago is 6-5 at home, buoyed by a fanbase that cheers as loud as their team’s defense screams for mercy. Their key players—Josh Giddey (20.5 PPG, 9 RPG, 9 APG, basically a human triple threat), Nikola Vucevic (15.7 PPG, 9.2 RPG, the Swiss Army knife of post players), and Coby White (21.9 PPG, if he’s not injured, which he often is)—give them a balanced, if inconsistent, attack.

News Digest: Injuries, Comebacks, and Why This Game Is a Cluster
The Pelicans are missing Zion Williamson (10 games missed) and Dejounte Murray (indefinite), turning their roster into a “Where’s Waldo?” for star players. Their starting five? A mix of Trey Murphy III (21.2 PPG, the team’s emotional leader) and role players trying to fill a 20-foot hole.

The Bulls aren’t exactly pristine: Noa Essengue and Kevin Huerter are out, and Coby White is listed as questionable, which in NBA lingo means “prayers accepted.” But Chicago’s depth—led by Giddey’s triple-double threat and Vucevic’s mid-range wizardry—gives them a fighting chance.

The Humor: Because Basketball Needs More Laughs
Let’s be real: This game is like a dinner party where both hosts forgot to cook. The Pelicans’ defense is a screen door in a hurricane—you can’t stop what you can’t see. The Bulls? They’re like a sieve trying to hold back a waterfall, but at least they’ve got a 7-foot-3 former circus acrobat (Vucevic) to grab rebounds while the rest of the team stares blankly at the scoreboard.

Historically, the Pelicans have won 6 of 10 against the Bulls, including three straight. But history is for people who don’t check the injury report. The Pelicans’ recent dominance is now as relevant as a frozen turkey in a sushi bar—present, but not useful.

Prediction: Why the Bulls Cover, and the Under Grabs the Win
Despite their flaws, the Bulls’ home-court advantage and the Pelicans’ road-induced scoring drought (-15.1 points per game away) tilt the scale. The Bulls’ 6-5 home record vs. the Pelicans’ 1-9 road mark? That’s a 14-point gap that even Zion’s absence can’t bridge.

The Under 247.5 total is a steal. Both teams’ combined scoring average (235.8 PPG) is 9 points below the line, and their defensive incompetence suggests a “low-scoring” thriller (read: a 120-115 Bulls win).

Final Verdict
Pick: Chicago Bulls -4.5 and Under 247.5.
Why: The Pelicans are a broken toaster in a bakery—ineffective and sad. The Bulls, while leaky, have the home crowd’s cheer-induced adrenaline to eke out a win. And if you’re betting, remember: the line is 247.5, but the game’s real total might as well be “whenever the refs run out of mercy.”

Now go bet wisely, and may your holiday be as joyful as a Bulls’ defense facing the Pelicans’ offense. 🐬🔥

Created: Dec. 14, 2025, 6:32 p.m. GMT

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