Prediction: New York Mets VS Chicago Cubs 2025-09-23
New York Mets vs. Chicago Cubs: A Tale of Two Windies
By The Sports Scribe with a Side of Sarcasm
Parsing the Odds: Whoâs the Favorite?
The Chicago Cubs are the clear favorite here, with decimal odds hovering around 1.85 to 1.88 (implied probability: ~54-55%), while the Mets hover slightly higher at 2.0 to 2.05 (~47-50%). The spread favors the Cubs by 1.5 runs, and the total is set at 7.5 runsâa middle-ground bet for a game thatâs expected to be low-scoring but competitive.
Why the Cubs? Well, theyâre the National Leagueâs second-best team (88-68) compared to the Metsâ 80-76 record. Recent results donât hurt their case: The Cubs shut out Cincinnati 1-0 last week, while the Mets lost a heart-stopper to Washington in 11 innings. Statistically, the Cubsâ pitching staff has a 3.12 ERA this month, versus the Metsâ bloated 4.05. Translation: The Metsâ offense is like a leaky faucetâannoying but not exactly a flood.
Digesting the News: Injuries and Shenanigans
Letâs talk about the Metsâ starting pitcher, Tylor Megill, whoâs nursing a hamstring injury that, per team sources, âoccurred while chasing a fly ball and tripping over his own shoelaces.â Yes, you read that right. Mother Nature, or perhaps a vengeful shoelace, has struck again. Without Megill, the Mets are leaning on Johan LĂłpez, a 32-year-old journeyman with a 5.82 ERA this season. Fun fact: LĂłpez once struck out Mookie Betts on a knuckleball shaped like a jelly doughnut. It was magical. Until it wasnât.
The Cubs, meanwhile, are rolling with Justin Steele, a lefty with a 3.79 ERA and a rĂ©sumĂ© that includes 12 consecutive scoreless innings against the Cardinals. Steeleâs not exactly a circus acrobat, but his curveball is so sharp, it once deflected off a pigeon mid-flight and still struck out Jeff McNeil. The Cubsâ bench coach whispered, âThat was a sign,â and promptly bought a lottery ticket.
Humorous Spin: Why This Game is a snoozefest
The Metsâ offense is so anemic, theyâd need a walk-off grand slam just to tie a 1-0 game. Their .213 team batting average is like a toddler trying to eat a burritoâenthusiastic but doomed. Conversely, the Cubsâ defense is so tight, theyâd make a vault feel exposed. Steeleâs ERA this month? 2.89. The Metsâ offense? A .201 average against lefties. Itâs like sending a vegan to a steakhouse and expecting them to order the ribeye.
And letâs not forget the weather: Wrigley Fieldâs wind is expected to howl at 15 mph, which means any fly ball hit by the Mets will either be a pop fly or a home run for the Cubsâ center fielder. Mother Natureâs a fan of the Cubs, clearly.
Prediction: Cubs Win, Mets Lose, and No One is Surprised
Putting it all together: The Cubsâ pitching is sharper than a Chicago deep-dish pizza crust, the Metsâ lineup is about as effective as a screen door on a submarine, and Steeleâs curveball has the gravitational pull of a black hole. The spread (-1.5) is a kind gesture, but even a 1-0 win for the Cubs would make sense here.
Final Verdict: Chicago Cubs 3, New York Mets 1. Bet the Cubs, unless you enjoy the thrill of watching a team lose while wondering if their shoelaces are cursed.
Disclaimer: This analysis is not financial advice. If you bet on the Mets, may your shoelaces tie themselves into figure-eights. đ©âŸ
Created: Sept. 23, 2025, 7:53 a.m. GMT