Prediction: Newells Old Boys VS Argentinos Juniors 2025-10-17
"El Clásico de la Derrota: Who’ll Trip First?"
Argentinos Juniors vs. Newell’s Old Boys: A Matchup Where “Winning” Means Not Looking Like the Bigger Loser
Parsing the Odds: A Tale of Two Teams Who Need Therapy
Let’s cut to the chase: Argentinos Juniors are the slight favorites here, with decimal odds hovering around 1.43 (implied probability: ~70%), while Newell’s Old Boys are a staggering 8.0 (12.5%) to pull off a miracle. The draw sits at 4.2 (23.8%), which feels about right for a game where both teams have more losses than a divorce lawyer’s holiday party.
The bookmakers aren’t exactly placing bets on a fireworks show. Argentinos’ odds suggest they’re the “lesser of two evils” right now, while Newell’s is being priced like a casino’s “sucker bet” section. The spread lines (Argentinos -1.0 to -1.25) back this up, implying the home side should win by a goal—or at least avoid looking like the Boca Juniors’ 5-0 lesson victims that Newell’s became earlier this month.
Digesting the News: When “Poor Form” Is a Diplomatic Term
Let’s unpack the misery:
- Argentinos Juniors (9th in Zone A) haven’t won in two games, including a 1-0 loss to Defensa y Justicia that felt like watching a chef burn toast. Their attack averages one goal per game—if you believe a goal is the intended outcome. Manager Nicolás DĂaz is likely whispering incantations to the ghost of Maradona in the locker room, begging for a “Hand of God” moment.
- Newell’s Old Boys (14th, 8 points from the top) are the emotional equivalent of a deflated piñata. Their 5-0 drubbing by Boca Juniors? A humiliation so complete, it’s being sold as a Netflix docu-series (“Boca’s New Training Montage: 90 Minutes of Suffering”). Coach Cristian Fabbiani is clinging to his job like a toddler to a melting ice cream cone, with fans chanting for a “fan-led inquiry” after a 1-1 draw with Tigre that was less a match and more a nap.
Key lineups? Argentinos start Sergio Romero in goal—the same Romero who once saved a penalty against Lionel Messi in a friendly, then immediately forgot how to feel joy. Newell’s deploys Ever Banega, a midfielder whose career peak was scoring a last-minute winner… in a 2016 friendly. Neither side has major injuries, but let’s be real: Both teams’ biggest ailment is existential despair.
The Humor: Football’s Version of a Group Project with Difficult People
- Newell’s defense is so porous, even the wind would get a red card for trespassing. Their backline would let a goalpost score a goal if it strolled onto the field whistling the Boca anthem.
- Argentinos’ attack is like a blind date with a toaster: You hope for sparks, but mostly you just pray it doesn’t catch fire. Their last two games? A loss and a draw, which in football terms is like ordering a steak and getting a “medium-rare apology.”
- The match is at the Estadio Diego Armando Maradona, where the air itself is probably judging Newell’s. Maradona’s ghost is likely pacing the sidelines, muttering, “This is why I never played for you guys.”
Prediction: The Lesser of Two Evils Wears Blue and White
While both teams could win a “Most Disappointing” award at the FIFA Awards Show, Argentinos Juniors edge out Newell’s by the slimmest margin. The home advantage, combined with Newell’s looking like a team that forgot how to pass a haggis, tips the scales.
Final Score Prediction: Argentinos 2-1 Newell’s.
Why? Because Newell’s will score first, then Argentinos will do a “comeback” that feels like a DMV line on a Tuesday. The crowd will cheer, not out of joy, but relief that the game is ending.
Bet with caution, friends. This isn’t a pick—it’s a coin flip with more tears.
Created: Oct. 17, 2025, 11:09 a.m. GMT