Prediction: Notre Dame Fighting Irish VS Ohio State Buckeyes 2025-11-16
Notre Dame vs. Ohio State: A Tale of Sieves, Snowstorms, and Sudden Death
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for a clash of titansāor, more accurately, a clash of a titan (Ohio State) and a team thatās still figuring out how to be a titan (Notre Dame). The Fighting Irish, fresh off a 93-54 loss to Michigan that made their defense look like a sieve at a bakery, now trek to Columbus to face a Buckeyes squad thatās 3-0 and oddly confident despite ranking 225th in defense last season. Letās break this down with the precision of a coachās whiteboard and the humor of a halftime rant.
Parsing the Odds: Why Ohio State is the Favorite (and Why You Shouldnāt Bet Against Them)
The numbers donāt lie, and right now, theyāre wearing a āBET ON OSUā T-shirt. Ohio State is favored by 7-8.5 points across most books, with moneyline odds implying a 79-81% chance of victory (thanks to their -800 lines). Notre Dameās +420 odds mean bookmakers give them a 19-21% shot, which is about the same chance of me napping through a hurricane and waking up to find my coffee still hot.
The spread tells a story: Ohio Stateās offensive firepower (78.8 PPG last season) meets Notre Dameās porous defense (72.5 PAPG allowed). Itās like pairing a chainsaw with a bowl of Jell-Oāinevitable carnage. The over/under of 152.5 points? A generous buffet for two teams that combined to drop 147 points in Notre Dameās last game. Buckle up; this could get messy.
News.digest(): Injuries, Comebacks, and Why Notre Dameās āComebackā Was a Mirage
Notre Dameās recent loss to Michigan wasnāt just a defeatāit was a masterclass in humility. The Irish mounted an 8-0 run to cut a 24-point deficit to 16, which is as impressive as me finally finishing a Sudoku puzzle. But Michigan closed the game with a 38-15 onslaught, leaving Notre Dameās defense looking like a deflated balloon at a party.
Key man to watch: Markus Burton, who dropped 21 on Eastern Illinois. Can he replicate that magic against Ohio Stateās 2024 stats (19.6 fouls per game, 58th in scoring)? Doubtfulāunless heās armed with a trampoline and a vendetta.
Ohio State, meanwhile, is a well-oiled (if slightly leaky) machine. Their 11-6 home record last season was buoyed by a crowd that cheers louder than a microwave in a library. And letās not forget: They allow 73.5 PPG but somehow still won 17 games. How? Ask their fansātheyāve mastered the art of āWeāll fix defense in March. Probably.ā
The Humor: Puns, Absurdity, and Why This Game Feels Like a Sitcom
- Notre Dameās defense: If the Irishās defense were a cheese, itād be Swiss. If their offense were a cheese, itād be the hole in the Swiss cheese.
- Ohio Stateās home court: Columbus is to basketball what a bear is to its denāintimidating, chaotic, and best avoided if you value your snacks.
- The spread: Ohio State -8.5 is like giving Notre Dame a 8.5-point head start in a raceā¦ and then betting on the hare.
And letās not overlook the 39-point margin in that Michigan loss. For Notre Dame to win this, theyād need a comeback akin to a snowstorm in the Sahara. Unlikely, but hey, miracles happenā¦ right after I win the lottery and invent a self-filling coffee mug.
Prediction: Buckle Up, Buckeyes FansāThis is Going to Be a Ride
Ohio State wins by 10-12 points, because math, momentum, and the simple fact that Notre Dameās defense would let a toddler score 20 points if asked politely. The over 152.5 is a lock, given the Irishās recent offensive āefficiencyā (72.6 PPG) and Ohio Stateās defensive ātenacityā (73.5 PAPG allowed).
But hereās the kicker: If youāre feeling spicy, take Notre Dame +8.5 if Markus Burton goes off for 30. Itās a long shotālike betting a goldfish will win a triathlonābut sports are about hope, arenāt they?
Final Verdict: Ohio State 82, Notre Dame 70. The Buckeyes roll, the Irish roll the dice, and we all roll our eyes at how predictable this all is. Until next time, bet wiselyāor at least bet with a better sense of humor than Notre Dameās defense. šš
Created: Nov. 16, 2025, 9:40 a.m. GMT