Prediction: Ohio Bobcats VS Ohio State Buckeyes 2025-09-13
Ohio State vs. Ohio Bobcats: A Tale of Two Teams (and Why the Bobcats Should Pack Snacks)
The Ohio State Buckeyes are here, and theyâre not just here to play footballâtheyâre here to remind the Ohio Bobcats why theyâre called the âBobcatsâ and not, say, âThe Team That Gets Crushed by Ohio State.â The odds? Ohio State is a -28.5 favorite, with implied probabilities so steep theyâd make a ski slope blush. Letâs break this down with the precision of a spreadsheet and the humor of a third-grader explaining why squirrels are superior to humans.
Parsing the Odds: Buckeyes on Autopilot
Ohio Stateâs spread of -28.5 isnât just a numberâitâs a statement. At DraftKings, the Buckeyes are priced at +1.02 to win, while the Bobcats are a laughable +19.0 (translation: bet $1 to win $19 if youâre feeling particularly masochistic). For context, Ohio Stateâs defense has been so dominant this season that theyâve held opponents to 0 explosive plays (think: 20+ yard passes or runs) and turned the red zone into a personal fiefdom. Meanwhile, the Bobcatsâ offense? Theyâve managed to struggle against teams that include Akron and Western Michigan, which is like saying youâre bad at chess because you lost to a guy who plays against his cat.
Historically, Ohio State is 38-1 against Mid-American Conference teams. The Bobcats, meanwhile, are 0-6 against Ohio State, a streak soć¨ theyâve probably started betting on themselves to finally win just to feel something. And yet, here we are: the Bobcats are 1-7 against Ohio State when theyâre 20+ point underdogs. If this were a movie, itâd be called The Bobcats: A Tragedy in Three Acts.
Digesting the News: Injuries, QBs, and Why This Matters
Ohio Stateâs star QB? Healthy, sharp, and probably already drafting a commencement speech for the Bobcatsâ season. The Buckeyesâ defense? Still led by a defensive coordinator who could probably stop a hurricane if told to. On the Bobcatsâ side, their QB, Parker Navarro, is a Group-of-Five stud, but letâs be real: Ohio Stateâs defense is like a human firewall. Navarroâs big passing plays? Theyâve been suppressed like a campfire in a hurricane.
Recent news? Ohio State just routed Texas 14-7 and Grambling State 70-0, a performance so one-sided it made the Grambling fans start a GoFundMe to buy the team a new mascot. The Bobcats, meanwhile, beat West Virginia 17-10, which is impressive if youâre in the business of beating teams that play with one hand tied behind their backs.
Humorous Spin: Football, Metaphors, and Why the Bobcats Should Bring a Pillow
Letâs talk metaphors. Ohio Stateâs defense is like a vault guarded by a swarm of beesâyou donât want to mess with it. The Bobcatsâ offense? Itâs like trying to water a cactus with a firehose: you know itâs there, but itâs not doing anything useful. Their big passing plays? Theyâve been outperformed by a toddler with a slingshot.
And the spread? -28.5 is so generous, itâs like giving the Bobcats a head start in a race⌠only to realize theyâre on the wrong track. Ohio Stateâs 28.5-point margin of victory would make even the most optimistic Bobcat fan question their life choices.
Prediction: Buckeyes Win, Bobcats Cry into Their Snacks
Putting it all together: Ohio Stateâs defense is a well-oiled machine, their offense is a well-fed one, and the Bobcats are⌠well, theyâre the team that lost to Toledo 77-0 in 2022. The under/over is 49.5, and with Ohio Stateâs red-zone efficiency and the Bobcatsâ inability to sustain drives, the under is a lock.
Final Score Prediction: Ohio State 45, Ohio Bobcats 7.
Why? Because Ohio State is the Tesla of college football, and the Bobcats are a horse-drawn carriage trying to keep up. Bet the Buckeyes, and if youâre feeling spicy, take the under. Just donât bet on the Bobcats unless you enjoy the sound of coins clinking into someone elseâs pocket.
âDay doesnât care if the Mid-American Conference team heâs playing is good or not.â â A wise man, whoever he is.
Created: Sept. 13, 2025, 9:31 a.m. GMT