Prediction: Oklahoma City Thunder VS New Orleans Pelicans 2025-11-17
Oklahoma City Thunder vs. New Orleans Pelicans: A One-Sided Sausage Grind
The Oklahoma City Thunder (13-1) and New Orleans Pelicans (2-11) are set for a clash that reads like a math homework problem: What’s 17.5 points plus a broken Pelicans roster? Spoiler: The answer is a Thunder victory so inevitable, it could be taught in NBA 101 as “How to Win While Missing Half Your Team.”
Parsing the Odds: A Statistical Carcinoma for the Pelicans
The Thunder are -17.5 favorites, a line so steep it makes a rollercoaster look timid. Converting their moneyline odds (1.05) to implied probability gives us roughly 95% — meaning bookmakers think the Pelicans have a 5% chance of avoiding a blowout. For context, that’s about the same odds as me correctly predicting the weather in Oklahoma in November (spoiler: it’s always tornado season).
Defensively, the Thunder are a monolith, allowing just 106.2 points per game — imagine trying to score against them is like trying to dunk a grape. Offensively, they’re fifth in the league at 121.5 points per game, which is basketball’s version of a firehose. The Pelicans, meanwhile, are last in assists (22.8 per game) and offense (108.4 PPG). Their roster is so injury-riddled, it’s a medical textbook: Zion Williamson (hamstring), Jordan Poole (quad), Dejounte Murray (Achilles), and a cast of thousands.
News Digest: Pelicans Are Cooking with Gas… and No Recipes
The Pelicans are playing back-to-back games, which in NBA terms is like being told to run a marathon after a sprint. They’re also nursing a coaching change — Willie Green was fired after a previous loss to the Thunder, and interim coach James Borrego is now trying to avoid becoming the first person to lose their job twice in a week.
The Thunder aren’t exactly healthy, but they’re missing players like Jalen Williams and Aaron Wiggins — think of them as optional toppings on a pizza, not the dough. Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, their offensive engine, is averaging 32.6 PPG, and he’s projected to eclipse 30.5 points again. Chet Holmgren, meanwhile, is a 21-year-old defensive wizard who could probably block gravity if given the chance.
The Pelicans’ lone bright spot? Rookie Derik Queen, who’s been thrust into the spotlight like a toddler handed a chainsaw. Good luck, kid — the Thunder’s frontcourt is a who’s who of NBA giants, and your task is to not get squashed.
Humor: The Absurdity of It All
Let’s be real: This game is less of an NBA matchup and more of a medical convention for the Pelicans. Their injury report reads like a horror movie: “Will they make it? Will they not? Will Zion finally learn to tie his shoes to avoid another hamstring strain?”
The Thunder, meanwhile, are so deep in talent that even their injured reserves have more playoff experience than the Pelicans’ starting five. Alex Caruso’s hand injury is the only thing keeping this game from being a total Thunder romp, and honestly? It’s starting to look like he’s faking it just for the sympathy.
And let’s not forget the Pelicans’ coaching change. Borrego is now in charge, which is like swapping out a chef for someone who once burned water. Can he adapt? Sure. Will he? Probably not.
Prediction: Thunder to Thunder… and That’s It
The Thunder’s defense will stifle the Pelicans’ anemic offense, and Shai Gilgeous-Alexander will drop 30+ points while Chet Holmgren chucks in double-digit rebounds. The Pelicans’ best play? Hope for a mercy rule.
Final Score Prediction: Oklahoma City 118, New Orleans 95.
Bet on the Thunder unless you’re a masochist who enjoys watching teams with a 2-11 record try to shoot over a brick wall. And if you’re wondering why the line is -17.5? That’s just the universe’s way of saying, “Even with injuries, you’re still better than this.”
Go Thunder. And go get a cast, Pelicans. 🏀🔥
Created: Nov. 17, 2025, 5:42 p.m. GMT