Prediction: Ole Miss Rebels VS Memphis Tigers 2025-11-18
Ole Miss Rebels vs. Memphis Tigers: A Lopsided Love Letter to the Spread
Ladies and gentlemen, gather âround for a tale of sheer dominance and mild existential dreadâOle Miss (4-0) takes on Memphis (??-??) in a matchup that looks less like a basketball game and more like a math problem. The odds? Ole Miss is a 33.5-point favorite. Thatâs not a spread; thatâs a mathematical certainty with a side of mercy. Letâs break this down with the precision of a coachâs halftime timeout and the humor of a student-athlete trying to explain why theyâre wearing mismatched socks.
Parse the Odds: Implied Probabilities and the Art of Overkill
The numbers scream louder than a fan in a sold-out arena. At Fanatics, Ole Miss is priced at 1.0 on the moneyline (which, for the record, implies a 100% chance of winningâstatistically impossible, but hey, maybe Chris Beard has a time machine). On DraftKings and FanDuel, the spread is -33.5 points, meaning Ole Miss must win by 34+ to âcover.â For context, thatâs like betting your grandmaâs famous banana pudding that Memphis will show up with a basketball-sized pebble and call it a game.
The total is set at 140.5 points, but given Ole Missâs 82-60 shellacking of Cal State Bakersfield last week (and Memphisâs⊠well, letâs just say theyâre not exactly known for their three-point shooting), the Under is a safer bet than a seatbelt on a tricycle.
Digest the News: Ole Missâ âA-Listâ and Memphisâ âMystery Plotâ
Ole Miss is off to a 4-0 start, with senior forward Malik Dia dropping 20 points in their opener and AJ Storr nailing four threes in their last game. Their defense? A well-oiled machine thatâs blocking shots like theyâre expired coupons. The Rebels are also rebounding like itâs a job requirementâ43 boards vs. Cal State Bakersfield, including 20 offensive rebounds. Translation: Theyâre turning missed shots into free extra attempts, like a buffet that keeps refilling your plate.
As for Memphis? Weâre working with zero recent news. Are they injured? Are they secretly a Division II team in disguise? Are they just here to hand Ole Miss a participation trophy? The silence is ominous. But letâs assume theyâre the real deal. Letâs assume theyâve trained for this. Letâs assume⊠theyâre still going to get dunked on so hard, their mascot will need therapy.
Humorous Spin: When the Spread Writes the Script
Ole Missâs offense is like a popcorn machine: explosive, unpredictable, and best viewed from a safe distance. Their 51.9% shooting in the Cal State game? Thatâs not basketballâitâs math magic. Meanwhile, Memphisâs strategy will likely involve asking the referees, âWhatâs a three-pointer again?â and hoping for the best.
The 33.5-point spread is so steep, itâs basically a gentlemanâs agreement. Memphis could show up, shoot 0-20, and still âcoverâ if Ole Miss scores 34 points. But no, the Rebels are too good. Theyâll probably score 34 in the first quarter.
And letâs not forget the home-court advantage. Ole Miss averages 78.1 points at home vs. 74.7 on the road. Thatâs the difference between âwinningâ and âwinning while wearing a cape.â Memphis, meanwhile, has the road game experience of a toddler in a blizzard.
Prediction: The âWhat Are the Chances?â Factor
Putting it all together: Ole Miss is a 4-0 juggernaut with a offense that shoots like itâs on a caffeine IV drip and a defense that blocks shots like theyâre personal insults. Memphis? Theyâre the sports equivalent of a âComing Soonâ sign at a mall.
Final Prediction: Ole Miss wins by at least 40 points, because 33.5 is just the minimum asking price. Bet on the Under 140.5 total for good measureâMemphis isnât exactly known for their three-pointers, and Ole Miss will be too busy celebrating to shoot 100%.
In conclusion, this game is less of a contest and more of a public service announcement: âHey, Memphis, maybe work on your layups. Or just take the weekend off.â
Go Rebels. Or, as Memphis will soon learn, go nowhere. đđ„
Created: Nov. 18, 2025, 5:44 p.m. GMT