Prediction: Ottawa Senators VS Dallas Stars 2025-11-30
Ottawa Senators vs. Dallas Stars: A Tale of Two Zambonis
The Ottawa Senators, currently navigating a defensive crisis thicker than a Texas barbecue sauce, face off against the Dallas Stars, who’ve sharpened their blades after ending the Avalanche’s 10-game streak. Let’s break this down with the precision of a Zamboni operator on a caffeine IV.
Parsing the Odds: The Math of Misery
The Stars are listed at -150 on the moneyline (decimal: 1.7), implying a 58.8% chance to win. The Senators, at +220 (decimal: 2.2), have a 45.5% implied probability, leaving a healthy vigorish for bookmakers to enjoy. The spread favors Dallas by 1.5 goals, a line that screams “don’t bet against the team with a functional defense.” Historically, the Stars have dominated the season series, but Ottawa’s November surge—6-3-3 since 2019-20—has them playing like a team possessed by the ghost of Daniel Alfredsson.
Injury Report: Senators’ Defense Looks Like a Jenga Tower in a Tornado
Ottawa’s blue line is a disaster in slow motion. Alternate captain Thomas Chabot is on IR with an upper-body injury, Tyler Kleven is questionable after blocking a shot (a valiant act that left him resembling a human piñata), and Dennis Gilbert—recalled from Belleville—now wears the crown of “most overworked AHL alumni.” Meanwhile, Linus Ullmark has been Ottawa’s lone savior, slashing his GAA from 3.36 to 2.42 in November. But even Linus can’t stop pucks if his defense looks like they’re playing chess with a puck.
Dallas, meanwhile, is riding high after a 3-2 shootout win over the Utah Mammoth, with Wyatt Johnston burying the game-winner on the power play. Their offense is as reliable as a Texas sunrise, and their penalty kill? Well, they’ll likely exploit Ottawa’s shakiness like a cowboy exploiting a broken fence.
Humor: The Absurdity of Hockey Logic
The Senators’ defense is so porous, they’d let a ghost score a hat trick. Remember when Ridly Greig returned from a two-week illness? Presumably, he’s now immune to whatever plagued him—assuming it wasn’t just a case of “existential dread induced by bad defense.” As for Dallas? They’re the team that could win a game of hockey against you if you accidentally left your sticks in a different time zone.
Prediction: Stars Shine, Senators Simmer
Dallas is a -1.5-goal favorite for a reason. Ottawa’s “turnaround” hinges on Ullmark continuing his November magic and their defense remembering how to skate backward. Given that Chabot’s injury involved a re-injury late in the third period (a hockey version of “I’ll just check my email real quick”), Ottawa’s blue line looks more “I give up” than “Let’s go, we’ve got this!”
Final Verdict: Bet on the Dallas Stars to win 3-1, because nothing says “holiday spirit” like a team with a functional defense crushing a Senators squad that’s one tripping-over-shoelaces injury away from a full rebuild. And if you back Ottawa? At least you’ll get a free tote bag at the bar. 🍻
“I thought our details were a little sloppy,” said Coach Travis Green. If “sloppy” is code for “we’re playing with a lineup that includes three guys named Dennis,” then yes, Dallas is the only logical choice.
Created: Nov. 30, 2025, 5:32 a.m. GMT