Prediction: Portland St Vikings VS South Dakota Coyotes 2025-12-03
Portland State Vikings vs. South Dakota Coyotes: A Battle of Brains, Brawn, and Basketball Bloopers
The Portland State Vikings (4-2) and South Dakota Coyotes (5-3) are set for a clash that’s less Hoosiers and more Office Space—a game where numbers reign supreme, and the only thing bouncing faster than the ball might be the tension between these two teams. Let’s break it down with the precision of a point guard and the wit of a coach with a megaphone and a punchline.
Parsing the Odds: A Numbers Game
Portland State is a 1.5-point favorite, with decimal odds of ~1.8 (implied probability: ~55.5%), while South Dakota sits at +2.05 (implied probability: ~48.8%). The total is set at 159.5 points, with even money on Over/Under. That suggests bookmakers expect a high-scoring, tight affair—like a popcorn machine and a traffic jam having a love child.
Key stats? Portland’s offense is a well-oiled espresso machine, averaging 87 points per game. South Dakota’s defense, meanwhile, is a brick wall with a side of rebounding—led by Cameron Fens’ 3.8 boards per game and a team total of 21.4 defensive rebounds. But here’s the twist: South Dakota averages 6.8 three-pointers per game, just 0.7 fewer than Portland allows. If the Coyotes’ shooters are hot, they could turn this into a pyrotechnics show.
Digesting the News: Injuries, Momentum, and Metaphors
South Dakota just handed Air Force an 80-63 drubbing, thanks to Isaac Bruns’ 22-point explosion. The Coyotes are 4-1 at home, where they play like they’ve installed a “Do Not Disturb” sign on their opponents’ hopes. Portland, on the other hand, is 1-2 on the road, which is about as reliable as a Wi-Fi connection in a basement.
No major injuries are reported, but let’s imagine some absurd hypotheticals for humor’s sake: What if Bruns’ hamstring injury was caused by overexertion during a pre-game yoga session? Or if Portland’s star Jaylin Henderson tripped over his own shoelaces during a layup? (Spoiler: He didn’t. But it’d make for a great TikTok.)
Humorous Spin: When Analytics Meet Absurdity
Portland’s offense is so efficient, it could turn a fidget spinner into a stock portfolio. Their 17.5 assists per game? A symphony of passing that makes even the most cynical fan whisper, “This team shares the ball like a family shares a Netflix account.”
South Dakota’s defense, meanwhile, is a library of rebounds—quiet but effective. Their 21.4 defensive boards per game? That’s like having a team of robotic vacuums that never stop picking up after the opposition.
And let’s not forget the three-pointers. South Dakota’s 6.8 per game is enough to make even the most casual fan check their lottery numbers. If they hit half their threes against Portland’s 7.5 allowed, this game could end with the Coyotes scoring more from beyond the arc than the Vikings do from inside it.
Prediction: Who’s Cooking Dinner?
The math says Portland’s offense should outpace South Dakota’s defense, but the Coyotes’ home-court advantage and rebounding prowess add a layer of chaos. The total of 159.5 suggests a high-scoring game, and with both teams’ strengths clashing—Portland’s scoring vs. South Dakota’s three-point pop—the Over feels tempting.
But here’s the kicker: Portland’s road struggles (1-2) and South Dakota’s recent 4-1 home form mean the Coyotes could very well cover the 1.5-point spread. Yet, the Vikings’ 87 PPG vs. South Dakota’s 79.5 PPG allowed? That’s a 7.5-point edge in pure offense, which, in theory, should translate to a Portland win.
Final Verdict:
Portland State edges out South Dakota 80-78, thanks to Henderson’s 20-point eruption and a defense that finally remembers to close out on shooters. But if you’re betting the Over, bring a sweater—this one’s going to be a scorched-earth showdown.
Pick: Portland State Vikings -1.5 (-110) and Over 159.5 (-110).
Because nothing says “holiday spirit” like a last-second three-pointer and a free-throw that bounces off the rim like a deflating balloon. 🏀🎄
Created: Dec. 3, 2025, 8:42 p.m. GMT