Prediction: Portland Trail Blazers VS New Orleans Pelicans 2025-12-11
Portland Trail Blazers vs. New Orleans Pelicans: A Tale of Two (Injured) Teams
The Portland Trail Blazers and New Orleans Pelicans are set to collide in a matchup that’s less of an NBA game and more of a medical convention with a basketball-shaped piñata. Let’s break down the numbers, injuries, and why this game might as well be a dress rehearsal for the Pelicans’ annual “How to Lose a Game in 48 Minutes” seminar.
Parsing the Odds: Why Your Grandma Knows Portland’s the Favorite
The odds make this as clear as a sneaker commercial: Portland is a heavy favorite, with implied probabilities hovering around 65-68% (thanks to decimal odds like 1.52 for the Blazers). The Pelicans, meanwhile, are priced at 35-38%, which is about the same chance of me correctly guessing your favorite sandwich. The spread is a tidy 4.5 points, and the total is set at 239.5, suggesting a low-scoring affair—probably because both teams’ rosters resemble a cast of The Walking Dead.
Injury Montage: Portland’s Roster vs. a Hospital Ward
The Blazers are playing with one hand tied behind their backs (and the other in a cast). Six players are out, including Damian Lillard (torn Achilles, out for the season—how’s that for a “torn” season metaphor?) and Jrue Holiday (calf). Even their bench is a rotating door of injuries: Scoot Henderson (hamstring), Robert Williams III (illness), and Caleb Love? He’s just here for the snacks.
But here’s the kicker: Portland’s “big man by committee” approach—led by Derik Queen (26 points in the last meeting) and the ever-reliable Toumani Camara (the only player who hasn’t missed a game)—has kept the team afloat. Camara’s “strong team cohesion” quotes sound less inspiring when your starting five includes three players named “Injury.”
Pelicans: The NBA’s Worst Team, Now With 100% More Desperation
New Orleans is the NBA’s version of a group project where everyone forgot to do the work. At 3-22, they’re the league’s worst team, on a seven-game losing streak, and their “fight” is about as motivating as a deflated basketball. Their lone bright spot? Derik Queen’s triple-double (33 points, 10/10/10) in a 135-132 loss to the Spurs. Queen’s stat line was so good, even interim coach James Borrego had to say, “This kid’s a magician… if magic involved cramping in the fourth quarter.”
But let’s not forget: the Pelicans have lost by 1 point to the Spurs and 3 points to the Warriors in OT. They’re the NBA’s version of a “pick a number between 1 and 10” game—except the number’s always 11, and you lose.
The Absurd Analogy You’ve Been Waiting For
Imagine the Blazers as a leaky boat trying to row across a lake. Their oars are broken (injuries), but they’ve duct-taped a jet engine to the hull (Queen and Camara). The Pelicans? They’re the lake itself—wet, unmotivated, and waiting for someone else to row.
Portland’s bench depth (thanks to Shaedon Sharpe and Caleb Love’s “energy off the bench” strategy) is like having a backup oar made of spaghetti. It might snap, but at least you’re not rowing with your hands. The Pelicans? They’re the guy who showed up to the regatta with a paddle made of Jell-O.
Prediction: Why the Pelicans Should Start a Losing Team Fan Club
Despite their injuries, the Blazers’ 4-0 edge in the last four meetings and their ability to rotate healthy-ish players give them a clear edge. The Pelicans’ “fight” is inspiring in theory but about as effective as a screen door on a submarine.
Final Score Prediction: Portland 118, New Orleans 109.
Why? Because the Blazers’ “medical marvels” roster is still better than the Pelicans’ “let’s just go through the motions” approach. And if history’s any indicator, Queen will drop 25 again—probably while the Pelicans’ starters are on the trainer’s table getting their confidence IV’d back in.
Bet: Blazers -4.5. Unless you enjoy watching teams lose with the same consistency as a vending machine that only takes expired coupons.
Created: Dec. 11, 2025, 8:45 a.m. GMT