Prediction: Portsmouth VS Derby County 2025-12-20
Derby County vs. Portsmouth: A Tale of Two Sieves (With a Dash of History)
The Championship’s most one-sided love affair continues as Derby County host Portsmouth in a clash that reads like a history book written by a sieve. Let’s unpack this with the precision of a referee’s red card and the humor of a player tripping over their own shoelaces.
Parsing the Odds: Who’s the Favorite?
The bookmakers have Derby County as a slight favorite, with odds hovering around 2.05 (implied probability: 48.8%), while Portsmouth sits at 3.75 (26.7%), and the draw at 3.25 (30.8%). These numbers scream “Derby’s got a slight edge, but don’t bet your grandma’s knitting needles on it.”
Key stats? Derby’s unbeaten in their last 10 league meetings against Portsmouth (4 wins, 6 draws), including a 4-0 thrashing last season. Portsmouth, meanwhile, have won just once in their last 10 away games against Derby—and that lone victory was back in November 2002. For context, Portsmouth’s away record in the Championship is the league’s worst, and their defense looks like a colander that’s been dropped on purpose. Derby, though? They’ve leaked goals like a broken sprinkler system, failing to keep a clean sheet in eight straight games.
Digesting the News: Injuries, Form, and Time Travel
Derby’s recent 3-0 win over Sheffield Wednesday ended a three-game winless streak, but their defense would make a damp towel blush. Since a five-game winning streak in October, they’ve won just once in five—like a gambler who hits a jackpot, then bets it all on a llama to win the Kentucky Derby.
Portsmouth, meanwhile, moved out of the relegation zone with a 2-1 win over Blackburn, but their away record is so dire, they’d probably struggle to score on a stationary bus. Their last away win against Derby? 2002. Yes, the year Google became a verb. If Portsmouth want to beat Derby, they’ll need to invent time travel—or at least a functioning offense.
Humorous Spin: Sieves, Time Machines, and Goalie Goats
Derby’s defense? It’s less of a defense and more of a “Come on In, the Water’s Fine” pool party. Opponents have scored 15 goals in their last five games—enough to fill a small hot tub. Portsmouth’s attack, meanwhile, is about as effective as a screen door on a submarine. Their last goal in an away game against Derby was scored by a player who’s now a professional bingo caller.
Portsmouth’s away record is so bad, their fans probably pack umbrellas… for the defense. Derby, on the other hand, have the historical advantage of a team that’s mastered the art of the draw—like a tennis match where both players agree to split the prize money and go get coffee.
Prediction: Derby’s Sieve Holds Just Long Enough
While both teams are porous, Derby’s stronger head-to-head record, recent form, and home advantage tilt the scale. Portsmouth’s away woes are legendary—worse than a tourist trying to navigate Berlin without a map.
Final Verdict: Derby County 2-1 Portsmouth. Derby’s defense leaks, but Portsmouth’s attack is even drier than a martini made with regret. Unless Portsmouth’s time machine arrives in a DeLorean powered by hope, Derby’s sieve of a team will scrape by.
Bet on Derby (-0.5) if you’re feeling spicy, or the Over 2.25 goals if you enjoy watching two teams turn soccer into a goal-scoring cookoff. Just don’t blame me when Portsmouth’s bus breaks down on the way. 🏟️⚽
Created: Dec. 20, 2025, 7:43 a.m. GMT