Prediction: Seattle Kraken VS New York Islanders 2025-11-23
Seattle Kraken vs. New York Islanders: A Tale of Toaster Offenses and Fortress Defenses
The NHL’s November 23 matchup between the Seattle Kraken and New York Islanders reads like a script for a comedy of errors—or a thriller where nothing happens. Let’s parse the numbers, news, and absurdity to determine who’ll walk away with the win (and who’ll deserve it).
Odds Breakdown: The Math of Misery
The Islanders are the clear favorite here, with decimal odds hovering around 1.59–1.61 (implying a 62.5–63.5% chance) across bookmakers. The Kraken, meanwhile, are priced at 2.33–2.47 (38.5–42.5%), a gap so wide it could fit a luxury yacht. The spread favors the Isles by 1.5 goals, and totals are pegged at 6.0–6.5, with the under as the more enticing bet.
Why the lopsided pricing? The Islanders’ defense is as sturdy as a vault (they’ve allowed the fewest goals in the league at 5v5), while the Kraken’s offense is about as effective as a toaster in a bakery—present but useless. Seattle ranks 29th in scoring and 30th in penalty kill efficiency, meaning they’re bad at everything except, well, allowing goals.
Team News: Injuries, Comebacks, and Metaphors
New York Islanders
- The Isles just lost 1–2 to the St. Louis Blues, but their goaltender Ilya Sorokin (20 saves in that game) is as reliable as a Swiss watch. Their defense corps is a fortress, and Anders Lee’s lone goal in their last game was the only thing keeping the lights on.
- Recent form? The Isles have two wins in nine games, but hey, they’re playing the Kraken, who are about as threatening as a toddler with a training wheel.
Seattle Kraken
- The Kraken just beat the Penguins 3–2 in overtime, thanks to Brandon Montour’s heroics and Philipp Grubauer’s 30 saves. But let’s not get carried away: their offense is a leaky faucet. They’ve scored 29th in the league, and their power play (20.7%) is slower than a sloth on a coffee break.
- Key players like Matty Beniers and Mason Marchment are having decent seasons, but against a team that allows fewest goals at 5v5, even Beniers’ low-shot-under-the-crossbar trick won’t cut it.
Humorous Spin: The Absurdity of It All
The Kraken’s power play is so anemic, it would struggle to score on a net with the goalposts removed. Their penalty kill? So porous, it’s basically a 24/7 Airbnb for pucks. Meanwhile, the Islanders’ defense is so tight, even a needle would need a reservation to sneak through.
Sidney Crosby’s Penguins might’ve lost five of six, but at least they’ve got history. The Kraken? They’re just a team that hopes their defense can outlast their offense. Speaking of which, their offense is like a Wi-Fi signal in a concrete bunker—there’s a connection, but don’t get your hopes up.
Prediction: The Isles Sail, the Kraken Sink
Putting it all together: The Islanders’ defensive dominance (fewest goals allowed) and the Kraken’s offensive futility (29th in scoring) scream low-scoring game. The Isles’ price of -150 on the spread (per the spread odds) feels like a steal, given Seattle’s inability to light the lamp.
Final Score Prediction: New York Islanders 2, Seattle Kraken 1.
Why? Because the Isles’ defense will frustrate the Kraken’s offense like a pop quiz frustrates a student who studied for the wrong test. And if you’re feeling spicy, take the Under 6.0 goals at +187 odds (per BetMGM). It’s the only prop bet that makes sense here—this game is less of a hockey match and more of a nap-inducing art exhibit.
In conclusion, bet on the Isles. Unless you enjoy watching a team with a 30th-ranked penalty kill get absolutely shredded. You’ve been warned. 🏒😄
Created: Nov. 23, 2025, 7:14 a.m. GMT