Prediction: Seattle Kraken VS Pittsburgh Penguins 2025-11-22
Penguins vs. Kraken: A Tale of Two Defenses and One Anemic Offense
The Pittsburgh Penguins, fresh off a 5-0 shellacking at the hands of the Minnesota Wild, host the Seattle Kraken in a clash that’s less “showdown” and more “therapist session for a team with trust issues.” Let’s break this down with the precision of a Zamboni and the humor of a penguin trying to ice skate.
Parsing the Odds: Penguins’ Power Play vs. Kraken’s Power Outage
The Penguins enter as -115 favorites, implying a 52.3% chance to win (per the magic of American odds). The Kraken, at +104, suggest bookmakers think they’re a 49.8% shot. But let’s not let numbers fool us—this is a game where Pittsburgh’s best-in-the-league power play (28.1%) will likely outscore Seattle’s 20.7% power play about as easily as a vegan outscores a steakhouse in a cholesterol contest.
The total goals line sits at 5.5, with the under priced at +210. Given Pittsburgh allows the fewest goals (2.2 per game) and Seattle’s offense ranks 29th in the league (2.8 goals per game), this feels like betting on a tortoise and a hare… but the hare forgot to bring his legs.
Injury Report: Penguins’ Goaltending Drama, Kraken’s “Almost There” Offense
Pittsburgh’s rookie goaltender, Sergey Murashov, is back in net after being yanked in his last start. Imagine being a rookie goalie, staring down Sidney Crosby’s glare, and thinking, “I hope my second act is better than my first.” Meanwhile, the Kraken’s Jordan Eberle and Jaden Schwartz are churning out points (14 and 15 respectively), but their offense is about as explosive as a wet firework.
Seattle’s 5v5 defensive record is stellar, but their penalty kill (69.6%) is worse than a toddler’s ability to follow instructions. The Penguins, meanwhile, have Crosby and Malkin (combined 44 points) to spearhead an attack that’s clicking like a well-oiled Zamboni—smooth, efficient, and slightly terrifying to the opposition.
Recent News: Penguins’ Post-Global Series Slump, Kraken’s “Miracle on Maple Street”
The Penguins just returned from a Global Series in Stockholm, where they played like a team trying to assemble IKEA furniture: confused, exhausted, and wondering why the instructions are in Swedish. Their 5-0 loss to Minnesota? A masterclass in how not to play hockey—Erik Karlsson called it “a bit of everything being off,” which is hockey-speak for “we looked like we forgot how to tie our skates.”
The Kraken, though, have a plot twist: they rallied from two goals down to beat Chicago 3-2, with rookie Oscar Fisker Molgaard (20) making his NHL debut. His family flew in from Copenhagen, and he described the moment as “pretty surreal.” Surreal, yes—but also statistically unlikely to repeat. Seattle’s offense is a rollercoaster with only two drops: one thrilling (the Chicago comeback) and the rest a flatline.
Prediction: Penguins’ Fortress vs. Kraken’s Toothpick Offense
The Penguins’ defense is a vault, and their power play is a thief who’s already inside. The Kraken’s offense? A toothpick trying to pry open that vault. With Pittsburgh’s best power play in the league and Seattle’s worst penalty kill, expect the Pens to milk at least two man advantages.
Final Score Prediction: Penguins 4, Kraken 2
Why? Because the Penguins’ defense is a fortress (2.2 goals allowed), and the Kraken’s offense is a fortress that’s also a ghost town. And let’s not forget: Pittsburgh’s Malkin and Crosby are scoring like they’re on a “Most Points Before Christmas” bonus round.
Prop Bet Pick: Under 5.5 Goals (+210)
Both teams’ defensive tendencies make this a low-scoring affair. The Kraken’s anemic attack and Pittsburgh’s suffocating defense? It’s like watching a chess match… but with more slapshots and fewer queens.
So grab your popcorn, folks. This game isn’t a thriller—it’s a slow-burn documentary about why defense wins championships. Unless the Kraken somehow wake up their offense, which would be as surprising as a penguin in a sauna.
Bet the Penguins, but only if you trust a team that makes “back-to-back” games look like a marathon… and then some. 🏒
Created: Nov. 22, 2025, 5:34 p.m. GMT