Prediction: South Dakota Coyotes VS Iowa State Cyclones 2025-08-30
South Dakota Coyotes vs. Iowa State Cyclones: A David vs. Goliath Showdown (With More Goliath)
August 30, 2025
The University of South Dakota Coyotes, fresh off a 11-3 season and a FCS playoff semifinal run, are about to face a Goliath that’s been waiting 66 years for this moment. Iowa State, the team that once beat USD 52-31 in 1959 and hasn’t looked back since, is favored by 15+ points, with implied probabilities suggesting bookmakers think the Cyclones have an 88% chance to win. For context, that’s the same odds as me believing my dog will stop chewing my shoes if I tell him “no.”
Parsing the Odds: A Math Problem in Disguise
Let’s crunch the numbers like we’re back in Professor Nielson’s statistics class (RIP, Bob). Iowa State’s -150 to -16.5 spread line implies they’re expected to win by a touchdown and a field goal, while South Dakota’s +6.3 odds mean they’d need a miracle, a Hail Mary, and possibly a time machine to pull off an upset. The total line sits at 47 points, which feels about right—this isn’t a low-scoring barnburner, but Iowa State’s offense isn’t exactly lighting the world on fire either. Their 24-21 win over Kansas State in Dublin? A “meh” performance in the rain, with two turnovers and a fourth-quarter lead that felt less like a coronation and more like a “phew, we’re still alive” sigh.
South Dakota, meanwhile, is the underdog with the heart of a warrior and the budget of a community college. Ranked No. 4 in the FCS, they’ve got a new head coach, Travis Johansen, who’s probably dreaming of ending Iowa State’s 9-0 dominance over USD. But let’s be real: This is like a toddler with a soccer ball trying to keep up with a professional striker. The Coyotes’ best hope? Praying Iowa State’s offense, which scored 24 points against a Kansas State team that’s not exactly the New England Patriots, suddenly forgets how to pass.
News.digest(): Injuries, History, and West River Mysteries
The AP reports that USD has zero players from West River on its roster. I’m not sure if that’s a strategic decision or a geographical oversight, but if there’s a moral to this story, it’s that West River’s finest are currently out there somewhere, probably building birdhouses or something.
On the injury front? No major red flags for Iowa State, though Rocco Becht’s 14-of-28 stat line against Kansas State suggests he’s more “consistent” than “explosive.” For USD, their star players are presumably healthy, but let’s not forget: Their last win over Iowa State was in 1959. That’s older than the entire USD football program’s current coaching staff.
Humor: The Sport of Champions
Let’s lean into the absurdity here. South Dakota’s defense must be so determined to end this losing streak, they’re probably practicing blocking Iowa State’s historical legacy. Their playbook likely includes a page titled “How to Beat a Team That’s Never Lost to You Since the Eisenhower Administration.”
As for Iowa State? They’re the sports equivalent of a vending machine: reliable, slightly overpriced, and occasionally spitting out a snack you didn’t ask for. Their 24-21 win over Kansas State? A game where they needed a 15-yard fourth-down conversion to avoid being “that team.” If this were a movie, Iowa State would be the guy who says, “I’ve got this,” while slowly backing into a pool.
Prediction: The Unlikely Plot Twist
Look, the math is brutal. Iowa State’s implied probability of winning (88%) is higher than my chance of finishing this article without eating a snack. South Dakota’s +6.3 odds mean they’re the Vegas underdog equivalent of “betting on a snowstorm in August.”
But here’s the kicker: Upsets happen. Just not in this matchup. Iowa State’s experience in high-stakes games, combined with USD’s historical inability to score against them, makes this a one-sided coin toss. The Coyotes might as well be playing for pride, and honestly? Pride’s all they’ll take home.
Final Verdict: Iowa State wins 31-17, with Rocco Becht throwing for 250 yards and 2 TDs. South Dakota’s defense will look like a group of kindergartners trying to stop a stampeding elephant. Bet the spread, but only if you enjoy watching a mercy rule unfold.
“We just made some great adjustments,” said Coach Johansen, probably while staring at a whiteboard that reads “How to Beat Iowa State: Still Working on It.”
Created: Aug. 29, 2025, 3:58 p.m. GMT