Prediction: St. Louis Cardinals VS Chicago Cubs 2025-09-26
Cardinals vs. Cubs: A Tale of Two Motivations (and One Team Thatâs Already Checked Out)
The St. Louis Cardinals and Chicago Cubs meet on September 26 in a game thatâs less about playoff destiny and more about the Cardinalsâ quest to lose with style. Letâs break down why the Cubs are the clear favorites hereâstatistically, emotionally, and literally in the standings.
Parsing the Odds: Why the Cubs Are the Smart Bet
The betting lines tell a story of a team (Cubs) with everything to play for and another (Cardinals) thatâs already checked out. Chicago is listed at -150 (decimal: 1.57), implying a 61% implied probability of victory. St. Louis, meanwhile, sits at +246 (decimal: 2.46), or 29% implied odds. Thatâs a 32% gap in perceived chancesâa chasm in baseball terms.
The total runs line is set at 9 runs, with even money on Over/Under. Given that the Cardinalsâ starter, Miles Mikolas, has a career ERA of 3.82 and the Cubsâ offense is hitting .245 this season, this feels like a âlow-scoring thrillerâ waiting to happenâor a âletâs just go home earlyâ snoozer.
Recent News: The Cardinals Are Emotionally Bankrupt
The Cardinals were mathematically eliminated from playoff contention last night after a 4-3 loss to the Giants. Their starter, Sonny Gray, pitched six solid innings but couldnât outduel the Giantsâ bullpen. The Cardinalsâ relievers? A collective yawn. Kyle Leahy (who failed to retire runners in the 7th inning) is likely to start again, and his 2025 ERA of 5.12 suggests heâs more âfireworksâ than âfirewall.â
Meanwhile, the Cubs are still alive in the NL Wild Card race. Theyâll send Miles Mikolas to the moundâa pitcher whoâs somehow managed to strike out 200+ batters in back-to-back seasons while making fans question their life choices. Mikolas is a 34-year-old enigma, but at least heâs better than the Cardinalsâ current rotation, which looks like it was assembled by rolling a dice.
The Humor: Why This Game Is a Foregone Conclusion
The Cardinals are playing like theyâve already accepted their post-season job applications at the Hall of Fame gift shop. Their offense? A group of guys who think âsmall ballâ means ordering takeout. Their defense? A relay race where the ball always drops at the final base.
The Cubs, meanwhile, are fighting like a swarm of angry bees. They need this win to keep their playoff hopes alive, and Mikolas is out to prove heâs not just a âhas-beenâ (a label heâs been wearing since 2018). Imagine the Cardinalsâ dugout: âRelax, fellas, weâre just here to make the Cubs sweat. No pressure!â
And letâs not forget the Wrigley Field factor. The Cubsâ home park is a pitcherâs paradise, but the Cardinalsâ offense is so anemic, theyâd struggle to score in a nuclear winter.
Prediction: Cubs Win, Cardinals Check Out
The Cubs win 4-2 behind Mikolasâ seven innings of two-run ball and a late-inning RBI double from Ian Happ (whoâs been hitting for the cycle every other game since 2019). The Cardinalsâ offense will manage three hits, two of which are ground-rule doubles that rolled into the parking lot.
Why?
1. Motivation: The Cubs have playoff pressure; the Cardinals have none.
2. Starting Pitching: Mikolas > Cardinalsâ rotation (which is like a âmystery meatâ combo of journeymen).
3. Run Line: The Cubsâ -1.5 spread is achievable if Mikolas limits damage and the offense scrapes together a few runs.
Final Score Prediction: Cubs 4, Cardinals 2. The Cardinals will tip their caps, grab their Gatorade, and head to the airportâliterally flying south for the winter.
Bet the Cubs unless you enjoy watching teams perform like theyâre in a âhow to loseâ seminar. The Cardinals? Theyâre here to teach the final lesson: âHow to quit.â đžâž
Created: Sept. 26, 2025, 6:20 a.m. GMT