Prediction: St. Louis City SC VS CF Montreal 2025-09-13
St. Louis City SC vs. CF Montreal: A Tale of Two Traumas (With a Side of Redemption)
Let’s dissect this MLS clash with the precision of a surgeon who’s also a stand-up comedian. First, the odds: While no current lines are provided, we can extrapolate from recent history. St. Louis ended a nine-game road losing streak by defeating Montreal 2-0 on September 13, their first away win since March. Let’s imagine bookmakers have St. Louis as slight favorites at -250 (implied probability: 71.4%) and Montreal as underdogs at +200 (33.3%). Why? Because Montreal’s home record is the worst in MLS (11 points from 15 games), and St. Louis’ keeper, Roman Burki, just posted his fourth clean sheet. Mathematically, this is a numbers game. Psychologically, it’s a horror show for Montreal.
Key Stats to Know:
- St. Louis’ Road Resurgence: 2-11-2 on the road this season, but that “11” now includes a 2-0 win over Montreal and a 3-0 win over LA Galaxy earlier this year. Progress!
- Montreal’s Home Woes: They’ve scored 0.4 goals per home game this season. Their offense is like a toaster oven that only warms up one slice of bread at a time.
- Burki’s Heroics: The St. Louis goalkeeper made two critical saves, including denying Prince Owusu and Ivan Jaime. If goalkeeping were a Netflix series, Burki would be the anti-hero who finally gets a season win.
- Montreal’s Coaching Conundrum: Interim coach Marco Donadel admitted his team was “scared to concede a counterattack.” Translation: They’re playing like a toddler who’s seen one episode of Jurassic Park and refuses to walk in a straight line.
Recent News Digest:
St. Louis’ victory was fueled by Conrad Wallem’s first MLS goal and Marcel Hartel’s opportunistic second. Burki’s clean sheet? A masterclass in leg saves and mental toughness. Meanwhile, Montreal’s Matty Longstaff claimed they “created chances through counterattacks,” which is like saying a broken compass helps with navigation. Their home loss dropped them to the bottom of the Eastern Conference, one point behind D.C. United—a team that’s basically the “also-ran” of also-rans.
Humorous Spin:
Montreal’s home record is so abysmal, their stadium should come with a “Do Not Enter” sign and a refundable deposit. St. Louis, on the other hand, is like that friend who finally cleans their apartment after nine years and hosts a surprise party. The Red Bulls (their next opponents) should bring a mop.
Donadel’s quote about his team being “in the middle” during the match? Let’s rephrase that as their mentality. They’re stuck between “do we push forward?” and “do we hide in the bunker?” It’s the soccer equivalent of trying to decide if you’re hungry enough to cook or order takeout.
Prediction:
St. Louis wins 2-1. Why? Burki’s heroics, Montreal’s home curse, and the simple fact that Montreal’s defense looks like a sieve made of Jell-O. Wallem and Hartel will strike again, and Montreal’s “counterattack” will involve one player tripping over their own cleats while the rest of the team watches, confused.
Final Verdict: Bet on St. Louis to continue their redemption arc. Montreal? They’re the reason we have “last-place playoffs.” Unless Donadel starts fielding a team of circus acrobats, this road trip will end in tears—and probably a forfeit.
Go St. Louis! And maybe bring a therapist to that next home game, Montreal. Just saying. 🏆😄
Created: Sept. 15, 2025, 7:48 p.m. GMT